After getting love drunk with Lady Gaga and Elton John’s epic performance kicking of this year’s Grammy’s, the rest of the show just felt like a hangover.
I rarely do a red carpet wrap up for award shows because I usually find them so predictable and basically boring (and every other blog on the planet does them). However, there is something about the Grammy’s that brings all the crazies out- and I love every last second of it. This year was no different. There was good, bad, and most certainly ugly. It’s just a matter of deciding where, oh where, I shall begin…
Oh, Katy Perry. You’re as good a place as any. I used to find you kind of adorable, and would at times chock your funny attire up to you being “quirky.” But, due to your recent engagement to Russell Brand, I’m starting to think you’re just insane. What’s with that bindi on your forehead? Are you trying to blend into your heinous dress? That looks to me like one of those creepy stick on bath mats you use to prevent yourself from biting it while shaving in the shower. Ick.
Heidi Klum… don’t mind if I do. Hey Katy, wanna wear nude and sequins? This is how it’s done. This is the type of dress I pine over and wish I had in my closet for New Year’s and birthdays. She’s a golden goddess. Heidi, if you’d like me to take this dress off your hands (not like you can wear it again anyway), I will try and find some room for it in my closet…
No, you’re not hallucinating (like you were during the MJ tribute performance. Hey CBS, thanks for the head’s up that we’d need to bring along our 3D glasses to watch the show). This is really Snooki from Jersey Shore. No, I don’t know how she managed to get in and Guiliana Rancic didn’t. Between her ski jacket, pink sunnies, and ginormous Coach bag, she’s sealed her fashion fate. Fail.
Fergie is looking delish in this cobalt blue mini. She and Snooks might be the same size, but she has made herself look long and lean by keeping it simple and sexy. I’m not 100% in love with that silver “snake” detail, but she still looks gorge.
Oh dear heavens! The Abominable Snowman is apparently up for a Grammy. Oh… wait, that’s Rihanna and apparently she’s had an issue with the TP in the bathroom. Rihanna is a beautiful girl, but this get up does absolutely nothing for her. A shorter hemline or a lower neckline would have balanced her out and made her look less like a snow ball and more like the belle of the ball.
Marisa Miller is white hot. It may not be the most creative or high fashion ensemble, but homegirl is aware of her assets and how to play them up. She kept it simple, chic, and sexy so we can focus on her gorgeous bod, hair, and face.
For once second, let’s pretend she’s NOT wearing a glitter wig. This dress… while it is interesting, it just isn’t fun or flattering. It’s flesh colored and skin tight. It could have possibly worked in a different hue and if she had piled her hair up on in a carefree updo. Not to mention that the particular shade of her “hair” and her dark brows really clash with this neutral dress.
Now this is how a neutral dress is done! Well played, Keri Hilson. It is incredibly well fitted and accentuates her curves in all the right places. She looks like a delicious dessert and I wanna take a bite!
Ciara, Ciara, Ciara… This hurts me because you were so charming in your red carpet interview with E!. Why oh why do you insist on wearing creepy outfits like this? It’s not flattering, it’s not attractive, and honestly, you’re not wearing pants. You said this was a “jumpsuit” but I’m going to call bullshit. I can see your thighs. Your skin and makeup was so beautiful, but I’m so distracted by your doily pants, that I can’t appreciate it.
Carrie Underwood is always a class act. She looks beautiful and elegant in this flowy white gown. The only thing that irks me is her “mom” hairdo. You’re still young. Let your locks grow. You can wear this do’ when you’re 40.
How sequins should not be done. I’m too exhausted by his jacket to even get into the faded ripped (probably True Religion) jeans that he’s wearing. I can’t.
How sequins should be done. This was an amazing shade for Taylor. It’s a great alternative to black and is gorgeous on her skin tone. The neck line is debatable and honestly, I would love it if Taylor would get some highlights. This is what my hair would look like if I decided to go ahead and quit getting it done. She needs to hightail it over to Ryan Darius for some sun kissed streaks and a “paddy cake” curl tutorial!
Oh, I’m sorry, Kesha, are you DRUNK? While delivering your lines this evening, I wondered if you were even speaking English. I’m going to assume you were also drunk when you got dressed. I get it. You’re “weird” and “off the wall.” But honestly, if you’re going to be “zany,” go all out.
Speaking of off the wall, here is Lady Gaga giving it to us like she always does. She never, ever disappoints and I wonder if she will ever run out of ideas for her crazy paparazzi ready outfits. We had a couple of ideas about this one- one being that she is, in fact, the universe (holding the star) and we are just living in it (her yellow hair being the sun). The other is that she is Glenda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz. Thoughts?
Another one who never fails to disappoint? The one, the only, Britney Spears. Does she share a stylist with Ciara? Cause she is also not wearing any pants. At what point do you think she decided it would be a good idea to just wear her gurdle with a shear slip over top?
All in all, the Grammy’s were pretty entertaining. Like I said, it was good, bad, and oh-so ugly. We saw some amazing performances from Lady Gaga, Pink, Taylor Swift with Stevie Nicks. We also saw Jamie Fox act like an ass and Eminem appear from nowhere. Most importantly, we saw some really bad fashion that left us wondering, “Why did you wear that?”