The List | WhyDid.com

The List Volume LXXXV

By Kirsten|October 12th, 2012|The List|

Seeing as I’m now back in the dating pool (though I don’t date a lot… reasons following), I have remembered why it is that dating can be both glorious and horrifying at the same time. While some men are gallant and chivalrous like white knights, others are more like the town idiots riding around town on broke down donkeys.

The good ones are far and few between and the bad ones are so bad, they almost cancel out all the good ones… making me want to just throw in the towel and start the adoption process… and I know I’m not alone in this. So go ahead and print this out, ladies. Post it by the watercooler in your office or better yet, the men’s bathroom. Pass it along anonymously (or not) to the men in your lives in hopes that somehow, some way they’ll get the hint.

When you ask for my number and I say I’ll just take yours and then you make me call you so you have mine. Unfair.
Asking for my Instagram info rather than my phone number. Are you serious? (By the way, WhyDid is now on Instagram: whydid_dotcom).
Telling me about all the other girls you’re dating. Well, that clears up what’s going to happen after dinner: Nada.
I appreciate you offering to buy me a drink. But please, PLEASE, do not berate me for politely declining. As a matter of fact, you should thank me. I just saved you fifteen dollars.
If I do not ask you to come upstairs after a date, this is not the time to pout like a child. Just ’cause you bought me dinner doesn’t mean I owe you anything.

Remembering minor details, ie; I don’t drink anything without a straw.
Finding out what neighborhood I live in and then picking the restaurant based on that.
The ol’ make sure I get in a cab safely tell the driver where I’m going, pass him a $20, and give him a stern warning that I better arrive home in one piece.
Treating my friends as kindly as you treat me (non-romantically, of course).
Not looking at your phone for one second during our date.

Welp, who wants to order in Chinese?
xx,
WhyDid

The List Volume LXXXIV

By Kirsten|September 28th, 2012|The List|

I know you’d expect me to come in with guns blazing for this week’s edition of The List. And while it would be fairly simple to stick to a straight up original ten point list (all things considered), let’s see if I can’t somehow spin all that negativity into something even the slightest bit positive.

The blame game.
Thinking you’ve made the biggest designer shoe score EVER only to realize the box was mislabeled and you don’t actually wear a size 5.5.
Finding makeup on a pillow (not to mention the sham!) that is so clearly not yours because you don’t wear the shade called, “Creamsicle” or “Oompa Loompa.”
People using fancy words in hopes of sounding smarter, but instead confusing words as simple as “lair” and “layer.” Oops.
Having too many plans.

Having too many plans.
Knowing how to walk properly on a sidewalk.
Getting all of your fall shoes and boots re-heeled fully knowing you’re about to rip them all right back off the moment you step foot on a subway grate.
The look on the delivery man’s face when answering the door in a robe.
Having friends, family, and loyal readers who love and support you through those tough times when you just feel like throwing in the towel.

You may have noticed I went ahead and left off “leaving wallet in taxi” and “site outages” because, well, we already know those suck. So, have a great weekend
xx,
WhyDid

The List Volume LXXXIII

By Kirsten|August 24th, 2012|The List|

Have you ever been too busy to be mad? Well, that’s been my life as of late. I’ve had so many visitors and been working on so many things that even when annoying stuff happened, I couldn’t really be bothered with it… ’cause I didn’t have the time. So, there’s this week’s life lesson… stay busy, stay happy.

But alas, I know how much you all enjoy a good ol’ list. So here she blows:

Admitting when you’re wrong.
This is how you know that your neighborhood is no longer “edgy.”
Why must good posture be so uncomfortable?
Guys who think they need to be “courted” like girls. Um, no.
Violence. Seriously though, can’t we all just get along?

Passing out. Drinking rose. Not skipping a beat.
Four girls, two dogs, one bed, one couch.
The look of surprise when you smile at a stranger.
Visual contradictions.
Admitting when you’re wrong.

Have a great weekend… and remember, never cry over spilled rose.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume LXXXI

By Kirsten|July 27th, 2012|The List|

In the last 10 years of my life, I’ve moved (at least) once a year (this is the eighth apartment in NY). I hate moving. The mere sight of cardboard boxes makes me shudder. The sound of packing tape makes my skin crawl. So, why do I keep doing it? There is a variety of reasons, but one upside is that every time I move, it’s another chance to re-decorate. Granted this move was less than smooth sailing (couch got ripped, mirror got cracked, rug got a perm…), I am finally home. And who can complain about that?

Moving.
Making coffee only to realize you’re out of milk.
Naysayers.
That one scratchy, scraggly edge of a toenail that scrapes against the sheets all night.
People who do the right thing and then act like they did you a favor. Um, thanks for being a decent human?

The undying support of loved ones.
Not having to share closet space.
The fact that Cafe Gitane has Kirs on the menu.
Grocery delivery.
Moving on.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be over here sitting on my nonexistent couch.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume LXXIX

By Kirsten|July 6th, 2012|The List|

Alright, so, I do think these e-cards have gotten a bit (by “a bit” I mean “completely”) excessive, but when I saw this one the other day, I couldn’t help but laugh… and then realize it could have been tailor made for me. If only I had a unicorn…

Leaving my ID in the copier at FedEx. Score for the 19 year old 5’7 blonde who found it. Enjoy the Amaretto sours.
The insane heatwave that’s happening here in New York. Every day I wake up thinking there is NO WAY it could be hotter. Spoiler alert: it is.
Hair in the drain. I mean, I know it’s mine, but…
The last few times I have gone to Starbucks I merely ordered iced coffee. They forgot it. They did not, however, forget the gentleman behind me’s iced skim double shot hold the water two pumps of vanilla I’ve stopped listening ’cause you’re too high maintenance frappuccino.
Delusional people.

Having the most ridiculous dreams for yourself and actually saying them out loud (try it).
Black diamond studs.
The Sultra Bombshell. My girlfriends have been raving and now I see why.
Fun fact: sometimes I walk around the city with no actual destination and listen to my iPod pretending it’s my personal movie soundtrack.
Delusional people.

May your weekend be full of glitter, unicorns, and giggles. Now, if you don’t mind, my unicorn is thirsty. It’s hot out here.

xx,

WhyDid

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