Sooo it’s “Beach Week” here at WhyDid and obviously you can’t go prancing around the pool looking pasty. So what’s a girl to do?  Get a tan, of course! I don’t mean go fry yourself under a heat lamp like a piece of fried chicken.  No one looks good with premature wrinkles and skin cancer.  I mean fake the funk with a fake tan.  To illustrate this, WhyDon’tYouEatMe, WhyDidYouWearThat, and I set off on a spray tan adventure which we’ll share with you below. Sit back, switch your heat lamp off and enjoy.

Sooo what was the outcome? Well, we’re all tan. We all have some degree of “tan palms.” The Fusion Glow tan of WhyDon’tYouEatMe was the most subtle and just gave a slightly sunkissed glow. A Tan For All Seasons gave WhyDidYouWearThat a bronze tan that looks like she spent a few days at the beach. It actually came out very brown as opposed to orange like a tangerine. And as for me? I am not nearly as tan as I was hoping to be. If you are only looking to be somewhat tan, Tan Towel is a good option, but not if you want to look like you spent a week baking in Jamaica. All in all, we all look beach ready. Remember, people, a fake tan is not a real base tan and you should ALWAYS use some type of sunscreen when basking in the UV rays. I mean, Why In Gay Hell would you want to look like a lobster when you can look like a Greek god?

xx,

WhyInGayHell

(*WhyDon’tYouEatMe’s bikini by American Apparel, WhyDidYouWearThat’s bikini by Vitamin A)

It’s the one week of the year that youngsters are given a hall pass to act like complete and utter dbags with basically no repercussions. Just because you’ve earned your bachelor’s doesn’t mean that you can’t fake the fun. We haven’t forgotten about you.

This week on WhyDid, we will teach you everything you need to know from how to pack efficiently, to how to apply the perfect spray tan, to how not to look like a jerk in your swimsuit. All you need to do is stay tuned and crack open a cold one.

xx,

WhyDid

Let’s not get overzealous. While gallivanting last evening, I was startled to see SO MANY young ladies parading their naked legs around town.  I get it, we finally hit above 40 degrees yesterday, but that is no reason to get ahead of ourselves. It’s still freaking cold out.

I’m not quite ready to see your pasty stems. Just because it’s March and we saw a few hours of sun, does NOT mean that it’s time to break out the bare legs and open toed sandals. You haven’t even prepared yet! Before the legs come out (which is right around the corner), you must hit the gym and de-pasty yourself.  The first girl I saw I thought was a fluke. However, I continued to see bare legs left and right. Casper was hittin da club scene. I mean, I can’t. It was actually startling. Like smack me in my face startling.

Let’s hold off, my friends. It’s not time yet. I will send out the smoke signal when it is.  In the meantime, keep your pants on, ladies!

xx,

WhyDid