This summer, men took accessorizing one step further by donning what we now know as the “man bun.” And while I do have a healthy portion of male readers (God bless you analytics), I will not take the blame (or credit- depending on your stance) for the trend just because I’ve made more than one brilliant top knot tutorial (you can learn “how to” here and here). For the past decade or so, men hadn’t had much wiggle room when it came to socially acceptable hairdos. There’s been the classic buzz cut, the Bieber bob, and that whole spiky gelled situation that ruined shams worldwide. And let’s just be thankful we all survived the “faux hawk.”
While the ponytail is nothing new (hello, Karl Lagerfeld), men decided that wasn’t good enough and began piling their locks on their heads way atop or grazing the napes of their necks, real estate formerly reserved for sweet nuzzles from their beloveds. I’m not sure who can specifically be appointed as the official firestarter of this follicle free for all, but I think Colin Farrell was one of the male topknot pioneers. To be fair, average citizens started sporting it well before it became mainstream. I had an ex-boyfriend several years ago who began experimenting with the trend. Granted, he also thought waking up and drinking the leftover beer on his nightstand from the night before was par for the course. In any case, this hair-rowing (see what I did there?) hairstyle has taken over from east to west coast, north to south. There are several blogs dedicated solely to the praise of ballerina buns fit for Baryshnikov (exhibit A and exhibit B) and The Awl even created a brilliant collection of the male topknot in its natural habitat.
Much like the beard bubble was predicted to pop (and has yet to do so as late adopters are STILL jumping on the bearded bandwagon), the man bun would appear to have a shelf life itself. Interestingly enough, it seems that the topknot and beard are not mutually exclusive and often worn in tandem. All this hair has me asking a lot of questions though. Many men claim to be the superior sex, but I’m beginning to sense a trend. It started with our eyeliner and skinny jeans then men began eying our tank tops and now they’re angling for our hair ties? And if you’re in a couple this also leads to a lot of financial hurdles. Can we afford to double up on deep conditioners? Do we need to own one flatiron or two? Won’t our shower drain clog twice as fast?
So with the imminent onslaught of snow, will these top knot wearing gents be forced to concede their coifs once they realize a bun looks more like a goiter under a beanie? Or will ear muffs have a renaissance for men? As I typed this, a shiver went down my spine as I realized that the knitted headband or even a turban may not be off limits to a man who has mastered the art of bobbi pins. I’d be lying if I didn’t get a little hot and bothered collecting visual aids for this post, but I really want to know your thoughts.
There’s quite a bit of time spent on WhyDid helping the ladies with the do’s and don’ts of fashion… but it occurred to me last night (while watching an especially offensive episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker) that we need to direct some of this professional fashion help towards our male counterparts. It also occurred to me that many of you men actually think you have the slightest clue as to how to dress yourselves. Welp, newsflash: You don’t. Just ask Kanye, who took the liberty of deciding he could show his “collection” at Paris Fashion Week. Oops!
So, this is dedicated to you, brothers Cruz and the rest of you gentlemen out there making our eyes hurt. (I’ll include photos as to be very explicit).
Manpris. Yes, those are exactly what you’re thinking.
Anything with embellishment. Good rule of thumb: If you’ve seen it on The Jersey Shore, it for sure shouldn’t see it in your closet.
Fishnet tank tops. Ahem, Jared Leto.
If you must wear a blazer with your jeans (and it seems you all must), please, for heaven’s sake, do not wear sky blue baggy jeans with it. Dark and tailored denim, fellas.
Button down shirts… only buttoned with one button. There are multiple buttons for multiple reasons. Use them.
Knit hats and/or scarves at the beach or with a tank top, swim trunks, or anything else that could be worn in July.
Jewelry other than a wedding band.
T-shirts that could be mistaken for your girlfriend’s in the wash. Tight, deep V, etc. …. Please reference SNL’s Dangerously Deep V -
Skinny jeans. I’m so uncomfortable with these for so many reasons. One being that I don’t need to know that your thighs are smaller than mine.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend sent me a message asking if it was, in fact, too soon to break out the winter scarf. Now, I’m a big fan of scarves, so my answer? “It’s really never too soon for a scarf.” Granted, you may look a little ridiculous when pairing a heavy winter weight scarf with a tank top and flip flops, but tucking a scarf in/on your bag for an evening out is always a great idea. There’s been quite a few instances where I’ve been caught off guard by a sudden nip in the air and felt lucky that I had a sunggly scarf to wrap around me. Now that it’s officially fall, scarves are fair game. So, let’s see how some of Hollywood’s stylish startlets are sporting their scarves:
After seasons of skinnies, it’s nice to see the wide leg jean make a return. Though I don’t believe the skinny jean is going anywhere anytime soon, it is nice to have options (a girl’s gotta have options, afterall). The wide leg, trouser, and bootcut jean are much more universally flattering and can balance out a more pear shaped figure. They’re also great because they can be dressed up and dressed down with just a few simple tweaks and accessories.