1. Kate Gosselin’s weave.
2. Volcanoes. I mean, really? We have things to do and you’re totes effing up our sched.
3. Bathroom attendants. I don’t need your help pumping the soap and no, you don’t deserve a dollar for it.
4. Molly Sims. No reason necessary.
5. People who talk to me when I’ve clearly got headphones on. I’m obvi trying to avoid all communication with you. Get it?
6. iPads. Still don’t get it.
7. The Millionaire Matchmaker reunion show. Reunion shows are bullshit.
8. Cellulite. I wanna know the male equivalent. Balding?
9. SJP’s Vogue cover. Why does she look 24? She’s 40+ and we know it.
10. Shrimp.

Okay, that’s all… for this week.

xx,

WhyDid

The Good:

Speaking of pleasantly surprised, Meryl Streep looked stunning in Chris March (Project Runway). She is a great example for the older actresses everywhere (take note: she covered her ARMS!!). An absolute perfect choice.

Sandra Bullock has really never looked better. Her hair and makeup make her look totally feminine and this dress by Marchesa is truly a departure for her. Obviously Oscar worthy.

Some may disagree with me, but she’s SARAH JESSICA PARKER for crying out loud! Would you really expect her to wear some run of the mill satin gown? Abso not! The pale yellow of her Chanel gown is beautiful on her and I love, love, loved her gigantic hairdo. Matt, you’re not looking too bad either.

Despite the fact that Miley is slouching as if she’s got osteoporosis at age 17, I thought this was a wonderful choice for her (Jenny Packham). It’s a little more grown up, while still maintaining a youthfulness about it. Well played, Hannah Montana.

At first, I wasn’t a believer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for Rachel McAdams. She’s a gorgeous girl. This dress absolutely grew on me like fungus and it is so different from the typical tulle and taffeta. Bravo, Elie Saab!

Not a huge Cameron Diaz fan, but I am a fan of her in this Bulgari creation. She looks absolutely delightful.

Elizabeth Banks looks amazing in this grey number by Atelier Versace. My only call out? That cheeseball headband. Just too much.

I don’t usually find the men’s outfits all that enthralling, but I do love that Robert Downey Jr. decided to be playful with his accessories. Sometimes it gets so boring with everyone in the standard black and white.

The Bad:

I’m 50% sure that Tina Fey is, in fact, wearing a Bump It. Yes, a Bump It a la Snookie on the Jersey Shore. This Michael Kors dress would have been okay on her, if she had just styled the rest of herself correctly.

This dress by Reem Acra isn’t HORRIFIC, but it does remind me of something my grandma would wear by the pool in Palm Beach. To “top” it off, her hair looks like she was getting in a last minute pre-Oscar workout and didn’t have time to wash it, let alone, dry shampoo.

I have a serious girl crush on Amanda Seyfried, but I do NOT have a girl crush on her Armani Prive. It is not a flattering color for Amanda and it is just too much dress for her. Better luck next time.

I think someone summed it up best when they said, “George Clooney looks like a lesbian.”  I mean, I have to agree. What is going on? And what is going on with Elisabetta’s shawl? Are we really at Junior Prom?

The Ugly:

First of all, WHY ARE YOU HERE??? That being said, your Armani Prive frock is a fashion fail. It looked like cotton candy gone wrong (as if that’s even possible). For a curvy girl, you should know better than to draw more attention to your hips than you need to.

Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. Really? Were you on your way to a luau and lost your way? Your Dries Van Noten looks like a Hawaiian shirt gone all kinds of wrong. Mahalo.

Oh, did you forget you silverware? No worries, Carey’s got you covered in her Prada gown encrusted with all different types of hardware. Dig in.

Diane Kruger is typically a fashion dream come true, but she’s kind of my worst nightmare in this dress by Chanel.

Yike, yikes, yikes! Zoe Saldana is fashion schizophrenia in her Givenchy gown. The top is actually kind of beautiful. Unfortunately, the red carpet isn’t shot from the waist up. The bottom looks like a cross between a purple poodle and a garden of hydrangeas.

Okay, seriously? Do I even need to go into a diatribe about the nipple covers on Charlize’s Dior gown?

And the Ridic:

I mean, this is all I’m going to say (quote), “If fashion was porn, this dress would be the money shot.” Um, thanks for the… err… visual, Gabourey.

All we really wanna know is where was Lindsay Lohan?  Now back to the beach.

xx,

WhyDid

Which leads me to my real point, since when did models stop gracing the covers of magazines?  Why have they been evicted from the supermodel throne by these sassy little starlets?  Call me crazy, but isn’t that what models do?  Now they are just stuck with the editorials, ad campaigns, runway shows, and (gasp) showroom appointments? 

I read an article once about how models no longer have the star appeal and the personalities of the first generation of “supermodels.”  Well, here’s a thought, maybe if you actually put them on the covers of your magazines and let them be interviewed and have personalities rather than just being lifeless mannequins on the runways, people would sit up and take notice.  Personally, I miss the days of Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, and Naomi Campbell (to name a few).  They were celebrities in their own right.  People wanted to know about them.  Now, the closest thing we have to “supermodels” are Adriana Lima and Heidi Klum (thanks to the brilliant marketing of Victoria’s Secret).  No offense to Jessica Alba and Sarah Jessica Parker, but I will turn on the TV if I want to see you, or better yet, pick up a copy of US Weekly.  Using actresses as models on fashion magazines makes it feel less authentic and more commercialized.  It takes the edginess out of “fashion.”

I miss when fashion was raw and real.  I miss backstage runway catfights.  I miss the supermodels of the 90’s.  I want to see Lily Donaldson and Jessica Stamm on the covers of US fashion magazines.  Take a stand, ladies!  Reclaim the throne.  I’ve got your back.

xx,

WhyDid