Another year, another round of award shows doling out little metal trophies to folks who may or may not deserve them. But the fun is not in who wins what as much as it is in who wears what. So, let the self tanner application, lapses in style judgement, and wardrobe malfunctions begin and let’s kick things off with last night’s American Music Awards.
While it’s been a while since I’ve tuned in, some things remain exactly as they did a year ago… and beyond. These include but are not limited to:
They’re still letting Chris Brown perform. Why they even let him out of his cage, I’ll never know, but this white girl won’t be dancing like it’s her birthday when his songs come on. Ever.
Jenny McCarthy is still hot.
You still can’t touch MC Hammer.
Christina Aguilera still wears leotards when she probably shouldn’t (but she can still sing like nobody’s business, so we’ll give her a pass).
Pitbull is still making songs that don’t make any logical sense in English or Spanish.
Crowding the stage with babes in bedazzled bustiers will still cover up any bad performance.
Taylor Swift is still singing about some boy who did her wrong in something that resembles a bad prom dress.
Nicki Minaj is still in need of a time out.
Pink could still kick your ass.
No Doubt is still as rad as ever.
And while it’s nice to have a bit of stability in your life, I’m a little concerned about America’s choices in music. Perhaps that’s a better indicator of the state of our nation? One thing that does seem to be changing is Justin Bieber’s voice (anyone else catch that?) which was quite clear after hearing him dedicate his win to the “haters” (he realizes he’s an eighteen year old 98lb white kid, right?). So, I decided I was going to come up with my own award categories that seem much, much more important:
Color of the Evening:
Most in Need of a New Hairstyle:
So, let’s step it up, folks. We’ll consider this a “warm up.” A “rehearsal” if you will. Last time I checked, which was just now, my socks are still on, so no one particularly blew me away. Bring on the crazy… I’ve gotta have something to write about.
Happy Cinco de Mayo… Now before you strap on that sombrero, do you have any idea what Cinco de Mayo is all about? No? Hell, I don’t even know why we celebrate it. I do know that I could live off of salsa and margaritas alone… but let’s pretend for a moment that there’s more to Cinco de Mayo than an excuse to drink Corona before noon:
Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for “fifth of May”) is a celebration held on May 5. It is celebrated nationwide in the United States and regionally in Mexico, primarily in the state of Puebla,where the holiday is called El Día de la Batalla de Puebla (English: The Day of the Battle of Puebla). The date is observed in the United States as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, and to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War. In the state of Puebla, the date is observed to commemorate the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín. Contrary to widespread popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico’s Independence Day—the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico—which is actually celebrated on September 16.
Well then, seems that there is, in fact, quite a bit to celebrate… to which you will most definitely need something to shake your maracas to.
And if you find that the salt on the rim of your glass is not enough sustenance to get you through the fifth of May, you should go ahead and try whipping up these easy (and delicious) enchiladas.
The winds have turned and brought that chilly air that signals “So long, summer” and it’s now dark outside before 7pm. It’d be pretty easy to channel your inner groundhog (do you know that they just beef up and sleep all winter?) and just give up on yourself. I mean, afterall, it’s so cold you probably won’t be wearing any short shorts or minis (let alone shaving your legs) for the next five or so months. Might as well just pack on the pounds and use your new blubber for insulation, right? No. Just stop it. There’s no time like now to kick your workout into full gear and one of the easiest ways to stay on track is by updating your workout playlist. Here’s one that I’ve been using for mine and will hopefully keep your body moving as well.
A good rule of thumb? Always be ready to be in a bikini at a moment’s notice. You never know when you might need a mid-winter escape to the Caribbean.