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The List Volume IV

By |May 14th, 2010|The List|
Adding Zest Nails on Chalkboard
And so it’s that time again. What irked me and raised my blood pressure this week? Take a look below to find out.
  1. Basketball Wives. Are you guys still talking?
  2. Smoking. You wanna eff up your lungs? Go for it. Making my hair and clothes stink? Now we’ve got a problem.
  3. Two finger typing. There’s a class for that.
  4. Jessica Simpson for OH so many reasons. Not even a cameo on Entourage is gonna make you cool, girlfriend.293.JessicaSimpson.tg.051210
  5. Rachel Uchitel’s vajayjay. Aren’t you tired?
  6. Class rings. (Thanks for pointing this out, GBF). I don’t believe I ever even got one, so why are you still wearing yours? No need to wear your resume on your ring finger, unless, of course, it’s a 5 carat Harry Winston.
  7. Fighting over a boy. Um, Kate, Cammy? He cheated on his wife with a stripper. You really wanna throw ‘bows over this one? alex-rodriguez-stripper
  8. Snooze button. You’re ruining my life.
  9. Gulf Oil Spill (again). Um, come up with any solutions yet guys? Or are we planning a big fish fry I didn’t know about?
  10. The tween boy hair flip. I love that little Greyson guy (who doesn’t?) and we’ve all got Bieber fever, but is that hair toss necessary? Looks like a mild case of tourettes…

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: A Few Things…

By |August 27th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|

So clearly, I have had a bit of extra time on my hands these days.  This has gven me the opportunity to conjure up some deep thoughts…

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  • Did I NOT get the memo that cowboy boots are making a comeback?  I remember hussing around Manhattan in tiny short shorts and cowboy boots circa 2005, but that was courtesy of the Dukes of Hazard remake (you have NO idea how much it hurts me to give Jessica Simpson credit for anything). Anyway, I’ve seen more than a couple young ladies strutting the streets wearing cowboy boots recently.  Now that summer finally arrived and temperatures are nearing the 90’s, there’s nothing I’m less interested in sticking my foot in than a bulky leather boot. P-U.  For the record, the original Daisy (Catherine Bach) didn’t even wear cowboy boots.

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Now that’s how short shorts are done!

  • I keep seeing this commercial for Maybelline’s SuperStay 24 Hour Makeup. Um, really?  I personally do not wear foundation because I don’t like it, but for the life of me I can not understand why anyone needs to have their makeup stay on their face for 24 CONSECUTIVE HOURS!!! Ever heard of letting your skin breathe?  Facewash? Acne?

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  • Dear Carrie Bradshaw- I just rewatched the Sex and the City movie with my mom last night (don’t judge me) and I have a bone to pick with you.  Other than the fact that you all overacted your characters, you also gave girls across the country “false hope.” Remember when your sweet sweet assistant Louise (from St. Louis) reminded you to go grab your $450 Manolo’s from the apartment before they changed the locks? And you corrected her that they were $525?  Um, well… girls around the globe probably saved up their funds in hopes of slipping on these shoes and finding their own Mr. Big… until they got to the store and the shoes were actually $945!!!

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Whew! I feel better.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Jessica Simpson

By |March 12th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

Dear Jessica Simpson,
Thank you. Thank you for wearing short shorts that are completely inappropriate for your body type. Thank you for finally giving in and realizing that you are never going to be rail thin and are not, in fact, a size 25.  Thank you for making me feel better about eating truffle mac and cheese last night.

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Luckily for Jess, denim cut offs are making a come back for summer, so she’s spared there.  Unfortunately for Jess, wearing an eyelet bustier and plaid flannel shirt with her cut offs looks ridiculous.  We get it. You’re going country. (P.S. I think she’s hungry and trying to eat the microphone. Someone get her a snack so she doesn’t chip a tooth).

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I hope that audience members seated in the first two rows of this performance were given some sort of protective eyewear because at any given moment, her bustier is about to burst open and those little hook and eyes are going to go flying! (Can you say, “lawsuit”?)

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Ah, yes.  The ever so sweet dance moves of J. Simp.  Do you remember the “Little Bit” video?  Yes, I’ve had beef (pun intended) with Jessica since ’99.

Anyway, thanks again, Jess for making us all feel better about our thighs today.

xx,

WhyDid