First and foremost, I think you are exquisite. I remember seeing you on the rooftop of Soho House last summer and being stunned by your beauty. You truly are a gorgeous girl. Our entire group had to pick our chins up off our poolside bed/couch as you sashayed by.

That being said, dub tee eff is going on with your outfits? I get that you have your own “personal style” but it’s getting kind of offensive. You’re sort of channeling Taylor Momsen/Jenny Humphrey with your “I don’t give a f*#$” get ups. Guess where that got little J? Written off of Gossip Girl. So let me step in and stop you before someone decides to write you off.

I get it. You’ve had a rough go this past year. My heart goes out to you. I know firsthand what boy dbaggery looks/feels like. No one deserves that. However, looking like a crazy bag lady certainly isn’t the best revenge. Take a cue from Kim K strutting around looking hotter than ever in her bikini (suck on that, Reggie). Or go get a weave like I did!

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest offenders:

What the f*#%? What happened to this little cutie?

I mean, I can’t vouch for that belly chain, but you get what I’m saying.  Let’s go ahead and reel it back in. How about getting some of your girliness back? Remember when you were so hot and feminine that people were hypothesizing that Beyonce was getting nervous? Yeah, let’s get that RiRi back before we have to send you to fashion rehab.

Sending my love.

xx,

WhyDid

We were laughing about airbrushed tips and butterfly nail art and the next thing you know, as I’m catching up on the TV that I missed for various reasons, I see THIS:

Really? Really, Serena? Are we doing this? You’re one PATH ride, an airbrushed kitty, and a couple of rhinestones away from belonging in a different state (Jersey, anyone?) I’m sure there is a perfectly good explanation for this oversight in styling.  I’ll be patiently awaiting this explanation.

Thanks.

xx,

WhyDid

P.S. you almost, ALMOST killed Gaga’s appearance for me.

You may know it as the New York institution on Fifth Avenue where “Gossip Girls” go to shop, but today marks a sad day for the “girls’ playground.”  Henri Bendel has announced they are planning to expand their accessories business, which means they will be eliminating their apparel departments completely.  

Over the years Bendel’s has been trying to re-invent itself in many different ways, but after opening a handful of accessories stores that only carry private label merchandise, they have decided this is the route they are going to take.  They will be opening another six stores this year, bringing the total to eleven.

Where does that leave  the apparel buyers?  Well, that’s a good question.  There is no longer a place for them at HB.  With no more Herve dresses to buy, no more I.D. Sarrieri lingerie to select, and not an E.Vil t in sight, they have been sent on their ways to explore new opportunities.

It was a good run and I will truly miss the wonderful ladies with whom I  worked.  On a positive note, this will give me much more time to scout out horrific fashion and update you on clever ways to make your cleavage  appear more voluptuous.  You should probably just go ahead and send HB a “thank you” note cause now you’ve got my undivided attention.

xx,

WhyDid

That’s where I come in. I pride myself on being really good at this. Add it to my special “skills” on my resume. Anyhow, after a juicy episode of Gossip Girl (which my BF refuses to watch with me) I was inspired by the lovely ladies to recreate their sizzling style. Whether you’re a Serena or a Blair, I’ve got you covered!

Dress from Forever 21, $22.80

Headband from Forever21, $3.80 (Score!)

Jeffrey Campbell Stud Ballet Flat, $128

Crepe Tunic from Forever21, $27.80

Cami from Forever21, $4.80

Kimchi Blue Gladiator Sandal, $38

 Madison Straw Bag, $45.95

And there you have it. Now you can look like your own Gossip Girl. I think I’m on team Serena… that could have something to do with the blonde hair and our shared love of maltipoos.  Either way, send in any outfits you would like me to “recreate” for you.

xx,

WhyDid

We were discussing how a lot of women throw their bodies out there on display for men to ogle.  While these women will get stares and attention (and probably a few free shots of Patron) they are getting the wrong kind of attention. You would initially assume that a woman whose top is cut so low it shows her navel is confident when in reality she is the polar opposite. Typically, the woman who relies on simply her body and sexy clothes to get attention is so uncomfortable with herself that she believes her sex appeal is the only way to get a man’s (or woman’s) attention.

Granted our society is totally oversexed (watch Gossip Girl lately?) and that may have something to do with our perception of what “sexy” is.  I mean, no guy ever goes up to a woman in a bar and says, “Damn, girl! You have a really hot sense of self-fulfillment. Lemme get them digits!” (Or at least I really hope no ones does that).

Anyway, big bro also pointed out that for a guy, it’s not always the “prettiest” girl in the room who grabs your eye.  It’s the girl who has just a little something about her. Dare I say, je ne sais quoi. A little mystery, a big smile, a glimmer in her eye.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a short skirt or a cleavage baring top from time to time, but at the same time I also love a great fitting pair of jeans and a snug turtleneck (covered from neck to ankles). It just basically boils down feeling good about yourself on the inside. Quite honestly, I get hit on much more when I feel like I’m totally dressed down. I don’t actually know how to explain that (because I’m not a guy) but I do think it says something.

 So what is the absolute most sexy thing a woman can wear? Confidence.