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WhyDid Wisdom: Update This

By |July 25th, 2010|WhyDid Wisdom|
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So, as I was perusing Facebook on my Blackberry last night while I waited for my girlfriend to return from the bathroom, I became irate. I think people are abusing the right to “update” their “status.” This very same topic made “the list” not so long ago and it seems that some of you did not get the point. Here is just a small sampling of the updates that I encountered:

  • HAPPY!! 🙂
  • Many things.
  • Ugh. 🙁
  • I haven’t been up this late in a long time. Thanks, coffee!!
  • has anxiety.
  • Alright, world. I’m ready for you.
  • lazy Sunday!!
  • Hahahahaha…. just giggly 😉
  • LALALALALALALALA
  • 🙂 yay
  • i <3 mamosas
  • BORED
  • bored… so I’m off to tan.
  • laying in bed
  • is excited 🙂
  • so tired.
  • Charmed&Dangerous! 😉 XO
  • Is so so so sad.. Thought it was my turn to be happy??????
  • It’s party day!
  • It’s going to be a crazy day….crazy crazy crazy!!
  • is St. Tropez.
  • easier said than done….. coulda woulda shoulda..

Apologies if one of those is yours. Upon reading these to my friend, a cleanse of my Facebook friends was strongly suggested. While a few were certainly sacrificed, I figured I’d give some status update pointers before ridding my account of the rest of you Facebook status spammers.

  1. Spellcheck, spellcheck, spellcheck. That little red line under the word you just typed is trying to tell you something. Another rule of thumb? Don’t use words that you can’t spell.
  2. If you are on Facebook, we already know that you’re probably bored. No need to broadcast it.
  3. A half assed coy “happy” or “excited” post is bullshit. No one likes a tease. Either spill the beans o or don’t.
  4. Don’t forget to remove the “is.” You are a not a city, a country, or an emotion.
  5. Broadcasting your personal problems is what therapy is for. No one on your friends list is that interested. If you need help, call a professional.
  6. I don’t care what you had for breakfast and neither do your 300 other “friends.”
  7. Facebook is not meant for bragging about how great your life is. Are you trying to convince us or yourself?
  8. You are not Eminem. Quoting song lyrics is unnecessary. I get it, you’re feeling exactly like Christina Aguilera did when she wrote the lyrics to her last ballad- except she didn’t write it. Her producer did. Shut up. No one cares.
  9. I do not need a play by play of your schedule. Facebook is not a Post-it. If you need a reminder, write yourself a note.
  10. Before you post, ask yourself, “Would I give a shit if someone else wrote this?”

xx,

WhyDid

Beauty Buzz: Nice Dimples

By |July 20th, 2010|Beauty Buzz|
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It’s bikini season and the majority of women out there are a little tentative about slipping into their teeniest of bikinis. The best way to look awesome in a bikini is using South Beach Skin Lab Repair And Release. As we get older, things don’t seem to look the same way they used to. Sigh. Why did we take those 19 year old bodies for granted?  The days of housing an entire pizza in one sitting are long gone, and alas, we are left with these pesky little divots in our once svelte thighs.

No matter how much exercise and time you spend at the gym (though it does help), those icky dimples just don’t seem to wanna budge. Outside of spending our entire summers wrapped in a sarong, what’s a girl to do? There are no proven cures for that tacky orange peel skin, but here are a few things that may aid in the appearance of cottage cheese:

  • Vigorous Massage– It is thought that massaging the skin will increase blood flow, release toxins, and reduce fluids. Endermologie (or lipomassage) is one of the most popular treatments. You can do something like this at home with the Elemis body brush and achieve similar results.
  • Creams– Probably one of the most common methods used. These may help to temporarily diminish the appearance of “hail damage” but the effects are not long term. Can’t hurt to slather a bit on before the beach though! Mamma Mio Shrink to Fit is on of Ms. Aguilera’s favorites.
  • Diet– A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and fiber and low in fat, carbohydrates, and salt will certainly help reduce the appearance of cellulite. Fresh pineapple and dandelion root tea are said to be very helpful in keeping your silhouette smooth.

While there is no fool proof cure for cellulite, rest assured knowing that eight out of ten women are affected with this dimply disorder. You are not alone in the fight, my pretty princesses. So try these little tips, but in the mean time, own that bikini gurrrl! Nothing is sexier than a little bit of confidence.

xx,

WhyDid

The List

By |April 30th, 2010|The List|
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It’s that time again. A week full of things that got my blood boiling. Did you make the list?
  1. People comparing Christina Aguilera to Lady Gaga. Love Gags, but Xtina has been around for over ten years. Come on. No one’s re-inventing the wheel here.
  2. April showers. I better see a LOT of May flowers with the kind of nonsense you threw at us, April.
  3. The Zegerid OTC commercial. I don’t need to see your pudgy white chest. Ever. Got heartburn just watching it. Clever marketing.
  4. Tyra Banks’ jumpsuits.
  5. Tyra Banks.
  6. People’s inability to use the sidewalk efficiently. Again, can someone please write an etiquette book on this?
  7. Oil spills. Ever see a Dawn commercial? Not cool.
  8. Cramps. One of the many joys of being a woman.
  9. The man in the purple velvet blazer who tried to pick me up off the street. See this face? Not interested.
  10. The German Shepard down the hall who licks his lips every time he sees Smitty. He’s not a snack, Kujo. Slow your roll.

Happy Friday!

xx,

WhyDid

Las Vegas, What Are YOU Wearing?

By |December 9th, 2008|Why Did You Wear That?|
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Okay, so I know that Vegas is a lotta flash and a lotta cash… but I am having a really difficult time digesting this. Some of it was spent on the ideal charter mini bus rental we’d hired to get to the venue, but the rest I didn’t know what to do. Seriously, my stomach is churning. I think I may have nightmares after what I’ve just witnessed… Buckle up. It’s gonna be a rough one.

Okay, so I’m a little confused here. Who’s who? I don’t think your boyfriend’s hair should ever be longer than yours. The pixie cut is difficult enough to pull off, you don’t need your boyfriend competing with you!

Um, do you think she knows that her bra is hanging out? Oh… I get it. That’s part of her “outfit”! Clever little devil!

OMG. Sadly, this must be a Vegas TREND! This is so weird to me. We have spent years trying to figure out how to try and HIDE our bra straps and now we’re just popping our bras right out the front our tops? (more…)

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