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Why Did You Wear That: Blizzards and Bikinis

By |March 2nd, 2009|Why Did You Wear That?|
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I figure there is no better time than in the middle of a blizzard to give a little lesson in bikinis. So what if there is 10 inches of snow in NY?  No time like the present to start thinking about warm weather and teeny bikinis…

I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field of swimwear and I feel that many women don’t know what kind of bathing suits actually  look good on them, which totally frustrates me. Plus, I do realize that for some (okay most of us) bathing suit shopping can be somewhat traumatic.  Especially after hibernating all winter long. So here are a few guidelines to keep in mind while shopping for this season’s swimsuit:

  • The most common and most annoying mistake women make is thinking that just because they have a bigger booty, they need to wear bigger bottoms (i.e. more fabric, more coverage).  Ehhh!! You are so wrong.  Guess what more fabric does to your butt?  Emphasizes how big it is.  Ever notice how Brazilian women always look amazing in their bikinis?  Their bikini bottoms are cut smaller making their bottoms look smaller.  (Yes, Brazilian women are hot and live on the beach so they know the tricks of the trade). So do not, I repeat, do not go out and grab the biggest pair of bottoms you see in order to cover your rump.  You are only calling more attention to the area you are trying to disguise. (Not to mention you will give yourself a case of what my BFF and I so lovingly refer to as “LA” (Long Ass)).

tibi

Here is a smaller cut bikini by Tibi, $190. (more…)

Why Did You Wear That: Cameltoe, Literally.

By |February 11th, 2009|Celebrity Style, Why Did You Wear That?|
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It’s hump day, and apparently, SJP is taking it literally (wait for it- I will take this full circle).  You’re thinking to yourself, “She looks pretty normal.  This is a pretty standard running errands around New York outfit. Granted I wish she was decked out in true Carrie Bradshaw style.”  Take a look at her shoes.  Notice the weird big toe compartment.  She has given herself a case of cameltoe. Camels have humps. Wednesday is hump day. Told you I’d bring it home.

xx,

WhyDid

sjp1

That’s What HE Said….

By |January 12th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas|
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I often think that a lot of women are dressing for the wrong reasons. Yes, that’s right. (I mean besides avoiding public nudity- which I see no problem with).

A lot of women seem to be getting dressed for other women. Which is fine, I guess. I would just think that when a woman spends 3.5 hours primping in front of the mirror, it would be to impress, perhaps, a man. Call me crazy, but when I go to work (which consists of all women and a few fantastic gay men- I work in fashion, remember?) I roll in wearing clothes that look good, but are comfortable and still somewhat stylish. I can guarantee that I am NOT looking fresh off the runway though.  This would actually be the perfect time for me to don my open toe booties and latex leggings cause the girls in the office might actually care… but I’ll pass.

However, when I have a hot date with my man, I pull out all the stops- however, this does not include my latest and greatest trendy fashion finds. You see, men don’t notice your “this season” Gucci booties, or your brand new Balenciaga bag. They are looking at you. All of that hoopla is lost on them and they probably think it’s a little ridiculous. If your man does care about your outfit and its fashion expiration date, you may want to take your “gay-dar” in for a tune up.

Don’t believe me? Below are some of the current “trends” (which my girlfriends have already so lovingly commented on) and my very manly guy friends’ responses to them.

(more…)

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