Somebody Call 911…

I know it’s probably not nice to pick on poor Mischa after being hospitalized for a mental breakdown, but…

Seriously???  I’m thinking that perhaps this photo is, in fact, actually what may have caused her hospitalization.  After seeing herself looking like a complete and utter train wreck, she realized she had truly lost her mind. Not sure exactly where to start, but I guess the dress is as good a place as any.

It looks like a reject from Frederick’s of Hollywood or perhaps she is taking Shark Week a little too seriously and was going for the “I just got attacked by Jaws and lived to tell about it” look.  Either way, it’s a disaster and her FUPA is in full view. Ever heard of Spanx?

Tights in July/August? Probably not unless you are living much closer to the North/South Pole. Rule of thumb, if your dress is too short to be worn without tights, you probably shouldn’t be wearing it and it’s probably actually a shirt.

Her bloated head, crazy eyes, and mangled mane aren’t really helping her look either. She needs a blow out and dry shampoo STAT. 

Cherry on top? The woman in the left of this photo who seems to be biting her lip and thinking, “Oooh, girl…”  We’re with you, lady. 

I hope that Mischa comes out of the hospital looking as fresh as she did in her days as Marissa on The OC.  Along with a little rehab and a few self help books, she could probably use a style exorcism. Sending our love, Mischa.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

I couldn’t choose just one hideous outfit, so I figure I would just dedicate an entire post to Aubrey O’Day (formerly of Danity Kane fame). 

 I don’t even have to see the rest of her outfit to know I hate it.  That headband is so stupid, there is no way there is any “saving grace” in the full length photo.  She has way too many different trends going on here. If you’re going to pick a stupid trend, pick just one.

 Here is Aubrey as a transvestite.  I really don’t know what else to say.  Actually, some transvestites actually look better than Aubrey does here. 

 WTF is this?  I think Aubrey is confused.  Some of the time she looks like a very dirty girl, but here, she looks like she is in search of rainbows and cupcakes with her BFF, Rainbow Brite.  There is nothing nice to say about this outfit. So I won’t say anything (else).

 Oh dear lord.  She has more than one of these frou frou ridiculous dresses. My bet- she’s wearing crotchless panties underneath.  Come on, this is the same girl who posed for Playboy not so long ago. You’re not fooling anyone with that dress, Aubs.

Aubrey was cleary in the McCain camp because there is no way she thought by wearing this shirt she would swing any votes for Obama.  She actually probably lost him a few. And DO NOT even get me started on what she is doing to that poor little dog.  Just because you want to look like a jerk, doesn’t mean that your pup does.  Leave him out of it.

Remember when Aubrey was that adorable and actually talented little thing on Making the Band?  I won’t even lie, I  kind of liked her back then.  What happened to this girl?

 It’s not too late, Aubrey.  A little make under and you’ll be good as new (or in this case old).

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

Oh Pam…  It’s hard for me to do this, but…

You are no longer the young C.J. Parker of your Baywatch glory days.  Though I must say, you have hung in there pretty well.  There is really not much wrong with the actual outfit itself, it’s just the execution.  The dress is a nice colorand your shoes are fantastic.  However, stretch charmeuse is difficult for even the tiniest of women to pull off without weird bumps and lines.

I’m not sure if you are familiar with the term, FUPA, but that is what this is.  Might I introduce you to Spanx?  Listen, no one can rock a one piece the way Pam used to, but sometimes we need to come to terms with getting older and needing to wear shaping undergarments.  No shame in that. 

I’m sure it is difficult for a beautiful woman once known as a sex symbol to age, but I sincerely hope that Pam starts to tone it down and age gracefully.  Not going to hold my breath, but it’s a nice thought.

Why Did of the Day

What do you think the actual chances of this man having a legitimate need for a cane/walking stick are?  Judging by his douchey pocket square, shades tucked in shirt, and class ring, I’m going to go with a 2.4% chance. (I must also mention that this gentleman was between the ages of 36-42).  You can’t get the whole effect from just this picture.  I’m sorry, I would have taken a full length shot, but the woman next to him was sitting full on spread eagle in a skirt and I didn’t want to capture that on film.  I got off the train before he did, but I would be interested to see how he juggled his coffee, newspaper, and “cane.”

Happy Monday!

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

Is that a banana in your dress, Angie?  Or are you just happy to see me?

Disregarding the fact that I think she is an alien and Brad looks drunk/constipated/slightly wonk, I can not understand why she has some sort of banana popping out of her LBD (little black dress).  Maybe they don’t serve hor d’ouevres at the British Academy Film Awards.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

I found this photo to be a teeny bit concering:

For several reasons.

• This is Nicole Scherzinger (of the Pussycat Dolls) in case you had no idea, which I wouldn’t blame you for.
• Since when are saris/burkas worn by random civilians who are not required to wear them?
• Since when are saris/burkas worn with jeans and hoe boots?
• I am confused, is it hot or cold outside?
• When is the last time Nicole ate a meal? Someone fetch this woman a sandwich.
• How many times has she watched Slumdog Millionaire?

Why Did of the Day

Dear Jessica Simpson,
Thank you. Thank you for wearing short shorts that are completely inappropriate for your body type. Thank you for finally giving in and realizing that you are never going to be rail thin and are not, in fact, a size 25.  Thank you for making me feel better about eating truffle mac and cheese last night.

Luckily for Jess, denim cut offs are making a come back for summer, so she’s spared there.  Unfortunately for Jess, wearing an eyelet bustier and plaid flannel shirt with her cut offs looks ridiculous.  We get it. You’re going country. (P.S. I think she’s hungry and trying to eat the microphone. Someone get her a snack so she doesn’t chip a tooth).

I hope that audience members seated in the first two rows of this performance were given some sort of protective eyewear because at any given moment, her bustier is about to burst open and those little hook and eyes are going to go flying! (Can you say, “lawsuit”?)

Ah, yes.  The ever so sweet dance moves of J. Simp.  Do you remember the “Little Bit” video?  Yes, I’ve had beef (pun intended) with Jessica since ‘99. 

Anyway, thanks again, Jess for making us all feel better about our thighs today.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

Okay, this one isn’t so much about what she’s wearing… but more about Why Did You Do That To Your Face??

Remember when Heidi Montag was Lauren Conrad’s awesome, supportive bff?  The one who would jump in a cab with her on NYE when she had a fight with her douchey boyfriend?  Well, apparently, she traded in her sweet personality when she traded in her face:

WTF? Who is this girl?  The nose, the boobs, the lips! Nearly unrecognizable.  I will say, she definitely upgraded in the hair department.  Maybe she should slip LC her hairdresser’s card.

Oh… and here’s one for good measure:

I will just ignore Spencer altogether, but what is up with her boots?  Not to mention her hideously matching scarf and bag. Seriously though.  White boots?

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did of the Day

This is probably a pretty cheap shot, but I must say, Paris Hilton never ceases to amaze me with the crazy contraptions she comes up with.  Here she is at the Grammy’s:

Where, oh where do I begin? I thinkthis may  have started off as an Herve creation, but then something went awry.  My theory? She picked a cute, colorful, and incredibly short dress from the designer, but then she got fancy on us.  After a couple (too many) bellinis, she looked at Tinkerbell and thought to herself, “This would be totally hot if I jazzed it up a little.”  Then she got out her glue gun and bedazzler and went to town.

 Good word.  Upon further inspection, it appears that the amazing green shiny fabric is actually chainmill.  I guess she figured if she got into any catfights over who was hotter, it would serve her as armor. Smart girl. (*Bonus: matches her bag too)

Now, I can give credit where credit is due, and Paris is a pretty girl (despite her mildly wonk eye).  However, wtf is up with her Mystic Tan?  She looks like she just came back from an 8 week vacation to the equator.

Thanks again, P. Hil for always delivering us with your unrivaled “fashion sense.”

xx,

WhyDid