A Sign of the Times

Oh, I’m sorry, does someone have a voodoo doll with my name on it?  I mean, I’m just wondering since I recently discovered the world’s worst invention- EVER.  Obviously, someone just wants to make me suffer from severe fits of anxiety.  Basically, if leggings as pants and True Religions got together and had a baby it would be this:

Oh, you think I’m kidding? I wish:

Are you f’ing kidding me??  It’s the spawn of satan.  Are you SO lazy that you actually need your jeans and your pajamas to be one in the same?  Do you mean to tell me that you didn’t even bother to shower after rolling out of bed this morning? I mean, what’s the point? You’re obviously already dressed! To me, this is a sign of how lazy and impatient our society has become.  What happened to taking pride in our appearance? This is just encouraging people to continue stuffing their faces (these puppies stretch, after all) and not care how the rest of the world perceives them. Remember this lady?

No? How about her?

They are rolling over somewhere in their graves. No proper lady would ever wear synthetic fake jeans to sleep in and then wear them out in public.  So why would you? Just saying…

xx,

WhyDid

Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Leggings, leggings as pants, Pajama Jeans, True Religion, voodoo doll

A Few Things…

So clearly, I have had a bit of extra time on my hands these days.  This has gven me the opportunity to conjure up some deep thoughts…

• Did I NOT get the memo that cowboy boots are making a comeback?  I remember hussing around Manhattan in tiny short shorts and cowboy boots circa 2005, but that was courtesy of the Dukes of Hazard remake (you have NO idea how much it hurts me to give Jessica Simpson credit for anything). Anyway, I’ve seen more than a couple young ladies strutting the streets wearing cowboy boots recently.  Now that summer finally arrived and temperatures are nearing the 90’s, there’s nothing I’m less interested in sticking my foot in than a bulky leather boot. P-U.  For the record, the original Daisy (Catherine Bach) didn’t even wear cowboy boots.

Now that’s how short shorts are done!

• I keep seeing this commercial for Maybelline’s SuperStay 24 Hour Makeup. Um, really?  I personally do not wear foundation because I don’t like it, but for the life of me I can not understand why anyone needs to have their makeup stay on their face for 24 CONSECUTIVE HOURS!!! Ever heard of letting your skin breathe?  Facewash? Acne?

• Dear Carrie Bradshaw- I just rewatched the Sex and the City movie with my mom last night (don’t judge me) and I have a bone to pick with you.  Other than the fact that you all overacted your characters, you also gave girls across the country “false hope.” Remember when your sweet sweet assistant Louise (from St. Louis) reminded you to go grab your $450 Manolo’s from the apartment before they changed the locks? And you corrected her that they were $525?  Um, well… girls around the globe probably saved up their funds in hopes of slipping on these shoes and finding their own Mr. Big… until they got to the store and the shoes were actually $945!!!

Whew! I feel better.

xx,

WhyDid

Dealing with a Full Plate

Dear waiter,

Whydidja…. Remove my plate at the restaurant last night when it was clear I was not finished? My apologies for bothering you while you were trying to work. I am a model, but I will eat my entire meal. thank you. 

xx, 

WhyDidJas

Escalating Social Awareness

Whydidja…feel the DIRE need to stand on the left side of the escalator during rush hour? Was it to block people with jobs trying to COMMUTE to work from walking up? TWO LANES of traffic, people. Left is for walking – right is for talking.

*Whydidjas are a type of PSA (public service announcement) for those who are completely and utterly socially unaware.  Hopefully, daily Whydidjas will make the world a happier and prettier place, one rant at a time.  

What “City” are YOU living in??

Okay, so I just finished watching this Monday’s DVR’ed episode of The City (yes, lame, I know) and I have a few things to get off my chest.

Other than the fact that The City is basically just very well packaged air, I am a little disheartened by their depiction of what it is like to live in New York City. 

First of all, the girls’ apartments in this show are ridiculous.  I believe that Olivia lives where she does (except they keep calling her an “Upper East Sider” and her apartment is actually in Tribeca) because she is clearly living on daddy’s dime.  Now, as most people who actually live in Manhattan know, there is no way on Earth, Whitney is able to afford her “Gramercy” apartment on her DVF fashion salary without either the help of her parental units or a sugar daddy.  I have friends who have worked at DVF and trust me, they do not live in massive luxury buildings in Gramercy.  Try more like a 5th floor walk up in the East Village.

And Erin?  I’m not sure what exactly she does (except that she now has some title-less job at One Management), but again… girls with entry level jobs in New York City are NOT living in apartments like hers without financial assistance. 

So to people in Manhattan, we are very well aware that this show is basically B.S., but for little girls in Iowa who dream of moving to the “Big City” and pursuing a career  in fashion I feel sad.  They are getting an idea of something that is just not even close to accurate.  I get it, who the heck wants to watch Whitney squash cockroaches or ride the subway?  But that’s reality.  And isn’t The City supposed to be a “reality show”?

**Note: There was one highlight in Monday’s episode.  When model Allie asked Kelly Cutrone if she liked her outfit, Kelly replied that she hated the leggings.  Thank you, Kelly.  Your support in the “leggings are not pants” campaign is invaluable.

Um, it’s Wednesday…

and people still can’t seem to get it together.  Come on, at least pull a brush through your hair for heaven’s sake!  Wednesday is halfway to Friday. Hump day. We should be happy about that.  I can almost let it slide on a Monday, but you’ve had two days to get your acts together.

I’m sure that doesn’t look good for your job either.  When employers are slashing jobs left and right, at least act like you care!! You might not think your appearance matters at work, but you’re kidding yourself, it does.  So does your desk… so tidy that up while you’re at it.

Happy Hump Day!

xx,

WhyDid

Pull it Together!

I know it’s Mondays and Mondays suck. We all hate them. Just ask my dog, he probably hates them more than anyone.

On the train this morning I happened to notice in my zombie-like state that some people just really need to pull it together.  I try to think my happy thoughts– but when I see girls with full on bed head with visible back of head cowlick, I don’t feel happy.  Have I taught you nothing about dry shampoo?

Listen, I pressed the snooze button 3 times today.  I am not psyched about getting up on Mondays either, but I manage to look like I actually care.  I don’t look dirty or smelly. I have on lip gloss. I took a shower. My clothes match.  If you have to wear your sunglasses on the train (which, mind you is underground) you have bigger issues.  Invest in some good eye cream.

Just try and not look so miserable on Mondays. You will feel the way you look. Slap on some lipgloss and mascara.  And while your at it, a spritz of perfume couldn’t hurt.

xx,

WhyDid

You go, girl!

Sometimes I wonder why women can’t just be nice to other women. What is the problem?

Like, if you see some cute girl walking down the street working  a pair of bad ass boots why is the immediate reaction, “Ugh, bitch!” instead of, “You go, girl!”? Seems like a pretty normal response, no? Maybe instead of scrunching up your face (and creating wrinkles) you should tell the girl you love her boots and ask where she got them. Kill two birds with one stone (I do not endorse animal cruelty, by the way. It’s just a phrase). Not only will you know where to go and get yourself some hot footwear, you might just make a friend. Imagine that? Groundbreaking, really. Read more »

Please and Thank You.

It has come to my attention that people are incredibly… rude.

When did it become acceptable to not say, “please” or “thank you” or heaven forbid, hold the door for someone?

Maybe I’m just lucky because my parents raised me incredibly well, but I kind of think some of these tidbits of etiquette are just common sense, no? Perhaps you don’t know which fork goes with which course at dinner, but I bet you know to say “god bless you” after someone sneezes.

Do men no longer know that they should offer women their seat on the train rather than knocking them out of the way so they can sit their lazy butt down? We are wearing heels! And we carry heavy handbags! When is the last time you saw someone offer a pregnant woman their seat? A gentleman would let a lady take the first taxi, not curse her out for merely being on the same corner hailing a cab.

Manners go a long way in my book. Here are a few more pointers to keep in mind:

• Cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn. No one wants to see your molars.
• Do not blow your nose in public. That’s just disgusting. Excuse yourself to the bathroom.
• Be polite to waiters/waitresses and other service industry employees. They deserve the same respect as you.
• Wash your hands after you use the restroom. This goes for you too, guys. Just because no one is watching doesn’t mean it’s okay to spread illness.
• Don’t play “chicken” on the street. It’s okay to step to the side if someone is walking towards you on the street. Are you really in that big of a hurry? (Someone DESPERATELY needs to write a book on “Sidewalk Etiquette” by the way).
• Save personal grooming for home. Ugh! I literally was sitting next to someone cleaning the gunk from under their nails today on the train. I nearly died.
• Contain your children! Kids are cute and all, but goodness, keep them under control. Just because they’re small doesn’t mean they can run wild.
• Don’t  use your phone at dinner. It’s so rude. How often do you see a table full of people ALL using their cell phones? Why did you even bother going to dinner with your friends if they are so boring you need to talk to someone else?
• Don’t let the elevator doors slam on someone. I mean, really, is that extra 2 seconds of holding the door for someone to get on going to kill you?

 So “please” try and keep these simple things in mind.  I swear, by making minor adjustments to your manners, you will notice a change in others. “Thank you.”

Daily Rant!

LAUREN CONRAD COLLECTION

Let me start off by saying I am not trying to be a hater. I think that everyone should pursue their dreams and go after what they want to do in life. But let’s be serious… can we really call this fashion?

 Not only are her designs completely uninspired, but you are also paying $168 for a jersey dress that you could have bought at Forever21.  I honestly can NOT believe they allow her to show at Fashion Week. It’s a joke. Why doesn’t American Apparel have a show while they’re at it? Next thing you know she’ll be at Bryant Park.

I will give the girl credit since unlike most celebrity brands, she actually “designs” hers.  Which is pretty obvious considering it is lacking any creativity. I get that it is easy and “accessible” but that’s just it.  You could have thought this up yourself and gathered these pieces from Express. What ever happened to designers like Zac Posen and Jason Wu? Now that’s talent.

I guess if you have enough $$ anything is possible. Read more »