WhyDid Wisdom: Stop What You’re Doing

You know that saying, “those who can’t do teach”? Yeah, well, often times that’s me. I tend to have a very level head when it comes to my friends’ and loved ones’ problems… yet, when it comes to my own… well, let’s not go there. But the point is, I love to help out where I can. Sometimes all you need is a fresh perspective or different point of view in order to sort things out. That’s where I come in. This week, we have a little bit of a glitch in the domestic bliss:

Dear WhyDid,

My boyfriend has really started to take me for granted. I do so much for him and initially I did it because I wanted to, but now it feels like he just expects it. We live together and I do the dishes, the laundry, make dinner. I’m your regular 50’s housewife– except I work too! I don’t need him to thank me on a daily basis (although that would be nice), but showing a little bit of appreciation from time to time wouldn’t hurt. How do I let him know that this house doesn’t clean itself without coming off as a lunatic?

love,

Desperate Housewife

Well, here’s my advice and it’s quite simple. Don’t. Do. Anything. Literally. Stop doing everything that you’ve been doing to make his life better, simpler, more cushy. He’ll notice. And he’ll notice fast. It’s a funny thing with guys. They can’t seem to muster up a “thank you” when all’s running smoothly, but the moment something’s awry they have plenty to say. When he does speak up, do not turn this into World War III. Use it as an opening to let him know that you feel a little bit underappreciated.

He’s not a bum because he started getting comfortable with your domestic expertise. Relationships change with time. People get used to things and can forget what life was like pre-you (aka awful). While we’re on the subject, let’s flip things around. When’s the last time you dolled yourself up and greeted him at the door? Do you sleep in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt? Women are also guilty of getting comfortable. Don’t worry, your relationship isn’t headed for the rocks. This is just a gentle reminder that you need to let each other know how much you appreciate one another and that you may need to crank the heat back up.

Sometimes it’s what you don’t say.

Need a little WhyDid Wisdom? Send your questions here.