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Would You Wednesday: Take One for the Team

By Kirsten|May 25th, 2011|Why Did or Why Don't?, Why Did You Date Him?|

A certain ample bottomed celebrity who will remain nameless (we have a zero tolerance policy here at WhyDid) recently announced her engagement to a 26 year old NBA basketball player. I hate to be a naysayer when it comes to love, but this marriage has about the same chance of surviving as a snow cone does in hell. Now, now… I know what you’re thinking: give the kids a chance. I would like to be proven wrong, but the cards are stacked against them.

I, myself, have dabbled in the “field” of professional athletes. While it was nothing serious, and my heart was left unscathed, I realize now how naive I had been back then. Seeing as I’m not an avid sports fan, when I’d met the gentleman I had no idea who he was, let alone his occupation (as a matter of fact I think he told me he was a DJ). All I knew was that he was good looking and I was 21 and single in the city. We lived far apart, so we didn’t see each other much. I’d be a fool to think there weren’t at least twenty more of me scattered around the states. But, alas, a fool I was. It was flattering and fun to tell my girlfriends, so I continued to play the game. I will never forget waiting downstairs for him after a game with the rest of the “wives” thinking A). how underdressed I was and B). how ridiculous it all was. After seeing the girls hanging around hotels and stadiums, and garnering nasty glares from girls when we were out, it made me realize that all of this was a lot less innocent than dating your average frat boy.

I’ve heard countless stories and seen with my own pretty eyes athletes behaving badly. (Perhaps even one such story involving the newly affianced). Ample amounts of money and cleavage make for a deadly combination. The odds are stacked against these athletes with groupies, gold diggers, away games, and schedules that are just not conducive to a healthy relationship. With 60-80% of marriages ending in divorce, NFL players are well above the national average (this statistic holds true for comparable sports). I’ll be the first to admit I’m crazy jealous, so I’m not sure how pro-athletes’ wives deal with all the temptation awaiting their handsome hubbies. Are the trips and shoes and status enough to make up for it?

Many couples have tried, but not many have been successful. Have you seen an episode of Basketball Wives? So, would you be willing to place a wager on such a dating gamble?

He shoots. He scores!

xx,

WhyDid

image via Baller Alert

Why Did You Wear That: Shiver Me Timbers

By Kirsten|May 24th, 2011|Personal Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

This past weekend I had the pleasure of going to see the fourth installment of a movie that I’d never seen the first three installments of- The Pirates of the Caribbean. (This is what love does to you – you’ve been warned). Anyway, while I sat in the theater trying not to vomit from my 3-D induced headache, I decided to try and make rum punch out of rotten coconuts. While the plot could have (and very well may have) been written by a fifth grader and mermaids were ruined for me forever, I couldn’t help but be inspired by the costumes, accessories, and hair. There’s a reason pirates are seen as sexy afterall. Head scarves, Flowing blouses, intricate embroidery, and enough accessories to sink a ship complete a scoundrel’s wardrobe.

By the way: five things pirates do better than you:

Accessorize
Get booty
Smokey eye
Sword fight
Hide libations in their wooden limbs.

Since I told you I would show you my favorite pirate outfit, I figured there was no better time than now. Behold, thar she blows:

Ready to walk the plank? While my “pirate” outfit is an oversized cashmere sample sweater cinched with a belt, here’s another way to achieve true buccaneer beauty:

1. Jen’s Pirate Booty Bowie Blouse, $139, 2. Susan Daniels Brick Mosaic Print Silk Head Wrap, $40, 3. UTZON Black Zipper Side Mini, $765, 4. Amrita Singh Malaika Bangle Set, $150, 5. Twelfth Street by Cynthia Vincent Devi Tall Suede Boot, $297.50, 6. Forever21 Tiered Crescent Earrings, $3.80

It’s a pirate’s life for me!

xx,

WhyDid

Photo via

Weekend Playlist: Game On

By Kirsten|May 21st, 2011|Weekend Playlist|

Let’s play a game. As you may (or may not) know, I love games. As a matter of fact, after dinner I have every intention of setting up a game of Scrabble on our patio table and lighting up the old fire pit. This week’s playlist? The first ten songs that come up on my shuffle. (You call it lazy… I call it a game). Ready? Go!

Jay-Z – Empire State of Mind

N.E.R.D. – Truth or Dare

ACDC – Stiff Upper Lip

Fabolous – Baby Don’t Go

Norah Jones – Turn Me On

Prince – 1999

M.I.A. – 10 Dollar

Usher – Bad Girl

Awolnation – Sail

Soft Cell – Tainted Love

I win! Nobody likes a sore loser.

xx,

WhyDid

The List Volume XLV

By Kirsten|May 20th, 2011|Somethin for the fellas, The List|

This week the list is dedicated to all you men out there. At times, I am utterly appalled by your behavior and wonder why we women haven’t boycotted you altogether.

So gentlemen, read carefully. Ladies, please feel free to print this sucker out and affix it to any and all men’s bathroom doors.

Money can’t buy you love. Yes, it’s true. Girls love gifts. And while this may work for a little while, there will come a time when you need to pony up and show us what you’re made of. A new pair of Louboutins for every you time you $*%* up will fill our closets, not our hearts. (Sidenote: bragging about your cash is vulgar. It doesn’t impress us -at least not the nice girls- it just makes us think you’re insecure).
Your grooming habits and products should not be more complex nor should they take up the space of mine. A little “manscaping” is one thing. Highlighted hair, waxed brows, and manzilians aren’t things that I want to have in common with you. If I liked girls, I’d date Ellen Degeneres.
Man boobs. Never, ever should your breasts resemble your lady friend’s. If you happen to be one of those gentlemen who grew mammaries overnight, at least cover them up by not wearing a silky shirt that emphasizes your newly swollen teets. If you happen to pass by the mirror and turn yourself on with the tittays you see, it’s time to hit the gym.
Pushing women out of the way to get on the subway/train, front of the line, etc. first. Who are you? Did you not have a mother? Have a little bit of class. Forget what ya heard, chivalry is not dead.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. You, my friend, have now joined the ranks of Jesse James and Tiger Woods. Congrats. Oh, and by the way, Jesse – all men do not cheat.
Cat calls. Um, how’s your ROI been on those? Remember this little experiment?
Tank tops. They aren’t meant for you. I don’t care if you are some cutie patootie with nice triceps. You still have armpit hair. And furthermore, by you wearing that tank top, you’re sending the message to other men (probably the ones who have no business wearing one) that it is, in fact, fine to flaunt the fat.
Belching, farting, scratching. We get it. These things happen. The body must function as it will– not at its will. Thing is- we don’t need to know you do it. Just like women never poop. Some secrets are meant to be kept.
Bromances. It’s nice to have friends. We love our girls’ nights too. However, dating (aka taking care of) one guy is hard enough. Don’t make me babysit your bestie too.
“No” means “no.” This may be a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes… we’re just not interested. Calling us a “bitch” or “fat heifer” just cause we shot you down isn’t going to get you very far. All it does is solidify what a douchebag you are.

xx,

WhyDid

Friday Frocks: Maxed Out

By Kirsten|May 20th, 2011|Friday Frocks|

I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!! How many times have you shouted that at your closet whilst standing there staring at its contents in just your skivvies? For me, the number of times is countless. No need to take it out on your poor wardrobe though. Instead invest in the never fail fashion trend: the maxi dress. The easiest way to look chic this summer is by slipping into a maxi dress. Don’t believe me? Here’s my top five reasons for maxing out:

It’s basically one step dressing. A maxi dress has the ability to make you look feminine and romantic without trying.
Maxis are incredibly figure forgiving. Eat as much potato salad as you please.
You don’t need to shave your legs. (Sorry, fellas).
Perfect for pairing with flats. Give those tootsies a rest!
You can hide small children, pets, and thunder thighs under them.

Whether you choose a breezy bohemian style or a simple slinky column, you’re bound to turn a few heads in one of these:

1. Twelfth Street by Cynthia Vincent Flutter Sleeve Maxi Dress, $366, 2. Diane von Furstenberg Ethyl Long Wrap Maxi Dress, $545, 3. Winter Kate Silk Maxi Dress, $260, 4. Free People Hippie Trip Maxi Dress, $198, 5. French Connection Leah Linen Maxi Dress, $108, 6. All Saint Pious Maxi Dress, $90, 7. Vintage Havana Tie Dye Maxi Dress, $64, 8. Gypsy 05 Long Organi Alligator Maxi Dress, $149, 9. Free People Polynesian Princess Maxi Dress, $198, 10. Style Stalker Venom Maxi Dress, $169, 11. Alice + Olivia Printed Halter Maxi Dress, $440, 12. Shoshanna Twist Front Printed Maxi Dress, $485