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The List

By Kirsten|April 30th, 2010|The List|

It’s that time again. A week full of things that got my blood boiling. Did you make the list?

People comparing Christina Aguilera to Lady Gaga. Love Gags, but Xtina has been around for over ten years. Come on. No one’s re-inventing the wheel here.
April showers. I better see a LOT of May flowers with the kind of nonsense you threw at us, April.
The Zegerid OTC commercial. I don’t need to see your pudgy white chest. Ever. Got heartburn just watching it. Clever marketing.
Tyra Banks’ jumpsuits.
Tyra Banks.
People’s inability to use the sidewalk efficiently. Again, can someone please write an etiquette book on this?
Oil spills. Ever see a Dawn commercial? Not cool.
Cramps. One of the many joys of being a woman.
The man in the purple velvet blazer who tried to pick me up off the street. See this face? Not interested.
The German Shepard down the hall who licks his lips every time he sees Smitty. He’s not a snack, Kujo. Slow your roll.

Happy Friday!

xx,

WhyDid

Weekend Playlist: On the Run

By Kirsten|April 29th, 2010|Weekend Playlist|

A11FFA

I remember a girl telling me on my 23rd birthday that after 25 it all starts going down hill. I thought she was just being a bitch (obviously because I was 23 and knew EVERYTHING), but unfortunately, she was speaking the truth. Suddenly you pay for that scoop of ice cream and your size 24 skinny jeans start to feel a bit more like sausage wrappers. DUB TEE EFF??

Being a girl who used to be able to house an entire pizza (solo), not go to the gym and never see the effects, this was devastating not to mention confusing. So, instead of bitching about my thunder thighs (which I did do for a while), I forced myself to fall in love with running. I only wish I had always been active so as not to go into shock when this oh so special life change occurred. I don’t even wanna tell you about the adult acne that awaits you, my little chickadees!

Anyway, now that I’ve come to terms with the fact that I need to do more than walk to Soho House in heels across the cobblestone (which is no easy feat, mind you) to qualify as a workout, I’ve compiled a playlist of some songs that help me get through the sweat and tears (mostly tears) of my workout. Basically, the music is my favorite part of getting buff. I like music to be played loud. This is also probably the reason I still like nightclubs (to be discussed at a later date) and why I used to like driving (which I leave to the cabbies nowadays).

WhyDid’s Workout Plan (which may prove to be more useful than Kanye’s):

Joan Jett– I Love Rock N Roll
Christina Aguilera– Not Myself Tonight
La Roux– Bulletproof
Girlicious (yeah, that’s right, Girlicious)- Stupid Shit
Santigold– Creator
Shwayze– Get U Home
Kings of Leon– My Party
M.I.A.- 10 Dollar
N.E.R.D.– She Wants To Move
Sam Sparro– Black and Gold
Ashlee Simpson– Outta My Head
Lenny Kravitz– Are You Gonna Go My Way
Lloyd Banks– Beamer, Benz, and Bentley
Livvi Franc– Now I’m That Chick
Beastie Boys– Sabotage
Beyonce– Ring the Alarm
Kenna– Out of Control
The White Stripes– Seven Nation Army

While some of my choices may seem a bit obscure/bizarre, I’m not exactly training for the 2012 Olympic Track Team and these songs set a good pace for as fast as my little legs can go. So, until they come up with some miracle cream/pill that just magically disintegrates fat, I will be burning rubber to my own little miracle playlist.

Feel the burn.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Date Him: Come One, Come All

By Kirsten|April 28th, 2010|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Date Him?|

** Warning: R rated material. Dad, you probably wanna go ahead and skip this one.

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So, I’ve had full on arguments about this before. Guys are apparently clueless when it comes to the female anatomy and the big O. I’ve been so annoyed that I’ve literally had to hang up the phone or leave the room. Guys sure do have a lot of nerve thinking they know more about what’s going on with our equipment than we do.

What’s the problem you ask? It seems that most guys out there think that we ladies are coming left and right when having sex. Au contraire mon frere. Just because we make a squeak or a sigh here and there does not mean that you’ve just hit our jackpot. If you did, trust me, you’d know. Don’t believe me? (of course you don’t). Here are the facts:

About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. – ABC News

Read it and weep, fellas. Just intercourse alone isn’t going to do the trick for most ladies. We need a little extra attention in our nether regions to get things going. And don’t you DARE look at us like it’s our fault when the fountain doesn’t overflow. I’ve had a guy legitimately ask me if I’m just not capable like I’m the one with the problem. This proves to be very frustrating for women. We don’t want to disappoint you, but at the same time, we don’t want to be disappointed either. It’s a team effort, folks. The sooner guys come to terms with this, the sooner we’ll all be satisfied customers.

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I have a couple of girlfriends who are in that freaky percentage of women who can get off from good ol’ fashion sex (lucky bitches), but as for the rest, they’ve either had to incorporate some helpful toys or become incredibly vocal about what exactly is or isn’t working.

That being said, I’ve met plenty of guys who are under the impression that ALL of the girls they’ve been with have been screaming their praises. Guess what all those girls were? Liars. Big. Fat. Liars. Hey, girls? Why are you faking it? You gals are totes effing things up for the rest of us. Now, Mr. Hotshot thinks he knows what he’s doing and I’m suffering through some wonktastic jackrabbit sex…Again. Ugh.

I’m hoping this will clear the air while simultaneously deflating a few egos leading us all to a much more fulfilling sex life. For the time being, I’m probs just better off with my pal, rabbit.

Happy Hump Day!

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: Get it Shorty

By Kirsten|April 27th, 2010|Personal Style, Why Did You Wear That?|

I mean, it may have something to do with how liberating it was to have my own personal pants off dance of this past Saturday (read: I ditched my skinnies and skirts for some tiny shorts), but I’m really feeling for short shorts right now. Therefore, I’ve compiled some of my favorites that you can buy RIGHT now!

La Rok Power Strutter Shorts, $168

Blank Denim Patchwork Short, $68

Forever 21 Fab Abstract Shorts, $11.50

American Apparel High Waisted Denim Shorts, $35

Free People Ruffled Tap Pant, $68

Motel High Waisted Floral Shorts, $50.73

Mason by Michelle Mason Full Shorts, $178

Forever 21 Floral Denim Shorts, $18.90

Paige Premium Denim Mariposa Shorts, $139

Dress them up. Dress them down. Shorts can easily transition from day to night simply by switching out your flats for sky high heels and adding some accessories. Dresses are sweet, skirts are pretty, but shorts are sexy and fun.

**Warning: remember that not every trend is for everyONE. I would probably steer clear of the short shorts after 35. It really isn’t age appropriate. Also, if you haven’t seen the inside of the gym in quite some time, probably not for you either. No reason to subject us to your juicy jiggles.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Don’t You Eat Me: Ice Ice Baby

By Kirsten|April 26th, 2010|Guest Blogger, Why Don't You Eat Me?|

sharing-ice-cream-cone

By now, you know how much I love cupcakes. Well, there are only a few other desserts that trump cupcakes in my book and ice-cream happens to be one of them. Summer is quickly approaching and while April showers typically bring May flowers, I figured I’d bring us into May with a list New York’s best ice-cream (or gelato) shops. Are you ready? Spoon in hand? Here we go.

ciao-bella

1. Ciao Bella Gelato: This is by far my favorite in the city. Love it. Love it so much that when their store on Mott St. was closed earlier than I’d remembered one winter evening, I went on a citywide scavenger hunt for a deli that carried it. Have no fear my friends, mission accomplished. While every flavor I have tried is good, my absolute faves are the Tahitian Vanilla and Pistachio.

emack

2. Emack & Bolio’s: While Ciao Bella may be my first choice, Emack & Bolio’s is a close second. I was lucky enough (or cursed) to live only a block away from their SoHo store for years. It was on my way home from the train and boy, that was a pit stop I made far too often. You must be wondering how I’m not 500 lbs at this point? It’s a good question, really. Good genes I guess (thanks, mom and dad). Anyway, most of their flavors are creative and about as good as it gets. My favorite happens to be the Raspberry Truffle with vanilla ice-cream, raspberry swirl, and raspberry truffles mixed in. De-lish!

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3. Otto: Otto makes my list here for the most creative and outside the box gelati (as they call it). My all-time fave is the Olive Oil gelati. Olive oil gelati? Really? YES! It’s AMAZING! They also have flavors like Salty Peanut and Guinness Stout. I know all you boys just stopped reading this and are heading over to get a pint of the Guinness Stout now. It’s ok. I don’t blame you.

shake-shack

4. Shake Shack: I’ve got 3 words for you: BEST MILKSHAKE EVER. Every time I go, I get both the chocolate and vanilla milkshakes. Why choose between the two? I haven’t had a chance to try this yet, but I desperately need to try their bacon and pancake custard ASAP. Bacon anything makes my heart melt.

2009-02-12-momosoft

5. Momofuku Milk Bar: With flavors like “cereal milk” or “cream cheese frosting”, how can this place not rock my world? Exactly. It can’t. I am also completely obsessed with their cookies, but that’s for another day…

With so many ice- cream/gelato/gelati/this/that/other shops in NYC, it’s hard to choose, but these five are the best in my humble opinion (which just so happens to usually be right). Ice-cream genuinely makes me happy. It’s up there with kittens and rainbows and glitter and you get the idea. You call it ice cream, I call it heaven. Now get your spoons and get to lickin’!

See you next Munchin’ Monday!

xx,

WhyDon’tYouEatMe

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