What can I say? I’m a lady. I don’t try to be. It just comes naturally to me- like basketball to Lebron. I know being a lady sounds pretty boring, but I promise I’m a lot of fun at parties!
Being a lady is not always easy. Thankfully, I received a great deal of guidance from two very special ladies: my grandmother, Rachel (the queen of all ladies) and of course, my mom, Shelly. Some people love fashion. Some love animals. I just happen to love everything domestic!
My passion in life (besides being a lady) is planning events. I had some amazing coaching in this department while working at the prestigious Waldorf Astoria Hotel here in NYC. I now own my own event planning company, Eventive Designs, and also plan events for a celebration brand called Mermaids & Martinis. Thanks to the support of my smart, handsome husband, I am able to do what I love every single day!
Enough about me! I’m here help you with all things lady-like from planning your next soiree to which way the toilet paper should roll (OVER!! Never under). Just ask away!
Lady Malkin’s Tip of the Week: Roll old magazines and stick them in your boots to make them stand upright and keep their shape!
Okay, so I probably wouldn’t have gotten in. Not even that “A” in history (thanks, Mr. Whitehead) would have gotten me in. However, after stumbling upon this little gem today, I’m starting to think I should have studied harder.
Basically, the ladies of Pi Phi at Cornell have enforced a VERY strict dress code (six pages worth). God, I love a good dress code. On my 21st birthday, I enforced a skirt or dress only dress code (mind you, I went to WVU, my bday is in the middle of January, and it was 28 degrees). Granted the Pi Phi’s of WVU were not exactly cool (It was all about the Xi’s, Phi’s, and DG’s), but they are earning some credibility in my book after seeing this.
Some people are lashing out and getting angry about it, but honestly, homegirl’s got some good points. A few highlights (quoted directly from the list):
NO: Leggings worn as pants.
YES: “Denim legging” is appropriate as long as it is done right, aka, not from American Apparel and worn with chic, cool, chunky boots over them and a longer top. NO camel toe.
NO: Shoes- tacky/cheapo/pleather. Don’t mess with me people.
YES: shaved legs.
NO: Dresses- sleeveless unless you have really good arms.
NO: Dresses- satin. No one looks good in satin unless it’s from Betsey Johnson or Dolce and Gabbana, weigh less than 130 lbs, have three pairs of Spanx on, and it’s New Year’s Eve.
YES: Shoes- booties if you can pull them off, aka, probably not.
NO: Watches- Another thing I am weird about. Nothing that has indiglo or a timer on it is going to be present, so forget it. I will have the time and keep you informed. So unless your watch is a piece of jewelry you don’t need it. Put a bangle on instead.
Additional notes on accessories: I’m also weird about accessories. I’m not saying you have to be wearing the Harry Winston wreath for me to like it, but I won’t tolerate any gross plastic shizz. Remember: less is more. I love things on wrists and I demand earrings if your ears are pierced. However, as usual, use common sense– If you are wearing a statement necklace, you can’t wear statement earrings. Keep things coordinated, simple, pretty, and fashionable. Remember, if you don’t know, ASK! That’s what I’m here for.
MY FAVORITE: These are life lessons so read carefully. Face: Your skin is your base. Your skin is your starting point– If your skin doesn’t look good, nothing else will. Always remember that. So unless you are Chloe Hall or Carolyn Franco, chances are you need to do something about your skin. I preferably like tinted moisturizer.
YES: Blush- this is not optional.
Eyes: This isn’t Johnny O’s, people. Glittery/Smoky eyes is not happening, people. It’s daytime, eyes shoule (be) defined and refined, less is more.
NO: Hair- Weird accessories like plastic glittery butterflies. If you use a clip or bobby-pin, make is simple, pretty, and understated.
Additional notes on Hair, Makeup, and Nails- Wear perfume. Wear deodorant. Get waxed, colored, cut, and groomed. Mani and pedi prior to Ithaca.
I mean, I don’t know about you, but I want to be friends with this girl. She actually knows what she’s talking about (a future WhyDid in the making?). Seems to me that these guidelines were set for the upcoming rush activities, and speaking from personal experience, there are some girls who NEED things spelled out for them. Can’t lie, I recall 40 plus of my sorority sisters (myself included) stripped down to our knickers getting professionally spray tanned before rush. If you want the best, you’ve got to be the best. Now, to clarify, these are for a specific event. If it’s Friday night, I’m putting on my “fuck me pumps” and showing cleavage.
xx,
WhyDid
P.S. Sorority girl responsible for this list- get in touch. We may have a guest spot open for you.
Last night a designer saved my life… (okay, two nights ago), but you get my reference to the Mariah Carey song in the oh-so magical “Glitter” right?
Anyway, as you should be well aware, Wednesday was the anniversary of my birth. In true WhyDid form, I decided I hated what I was planning on wearing that evening approximately two hours before we were supposed to be at Allen and Delancey for dinner. My bff turned ghost white, we’re talking Casper here, when I informed her that I just couldn’t go and we should just cancel. After digging through my archives and coming up empty handed, a lightbulb went off in this pretty little head of mine.
Kimberly Taylor!!! We threw on our boots (sans socks) and hauled over to her Meatpacking store. Within 15 minutes, I emerged from the store victoriously with neon green shopping bag in hand. I’d scored myself an amazing and somehow sexy black silk romper. Bff breathed a sigh of relief and commented how impressed she was with the ability to not only come up with a new outfit so quickly, but a great outfit at that. I threw that sucker on with black seamed stockings and sky high heels and off we went to enjoy the night.
How did I know about this little gem? Well, actually, it was during another crisis. When I had tried to “Rent the Runway” for my upcoming birthday party, I was unable to reserve anything in my size. Apparently, I’m not the only one planning on partying this evening. I had walked by Kimberly Taylor several times while going to and from various locations. I finally went in and found an amazing dress that didn’t completely drain my bank account.
Who is this so called Kimberly Taylor, you ask? Well, she’s a young (by young I mean 24) designer who has a knack for color and simple sexy silhouettes. There aren’t many stores where you could walk in and out fifteen minutes later feeling fully satisfied. Whether you’re looking for a sexy date top or a flirty frock, you can find it here.
Yes, it is my birthday (hope you got your shopping done early, folks). I’ve even changed out of my typical grey/black uniform and am sporting a little hot pink number for this very occassion. My fingers will soon be tired from opening all of my gifts, but my gift to you are some fun facts about WhyDid.
So while we nibble on cupcakes and dance on tables at Red Velvet enjoy these tasty tidbits about the lady behind the blog.
I can’t whistle. I’ve never mastered the skill and have made it thus far without it.
My favorite animal is a giraffe. Long legs, long necks, killer lashes, and they don’t bother anyone.
I’m slightly narcoleptic. I’ve fallen asleep in Vegas… twice. I can basically sleep anywhere.
I have a tattoo, but I won’t tell you where. (Sorry, Dad!!). It may or may not be the world’s smallest, btw.
I think it’s easier to kiss boys I don’t like than the ones I do.
I’ve been trying to learn French for the last year and a half (even though I took it in highschool and college) and plan on treating myself to a trip to Paris when I finally do.
My first “adult purchase” was a pair of black Christian Louboutin pumps. I live around the corner and aspire to own a pair in every color.
I have a reverse birthmark on my neck. (Meaning it lacks pigment altogether and never ever gets tan).
I think my dog is really just a hairy little person and I tell him as much. I just wish he could talk back.
I got an “A” in Economics in college and nearly failed sewing.
I have a school girl crush on Joel McHale.
I’m totally superstitious. You won’t catch me walking under ladders or stepping on any cracks.
I love pineapple. I have eaten so much in one sitting that I couldn’t feel my tongue.
If I find something I like, I buy it in every color.
I love costumes and props and think that theme parties are highly underrated.
I buy myself flowers. Why bother waiting for someone else? (Though I appreciate when they do).
My nails are chipped 98% of the time.
I can’t stand when people take themselves too seriously. No one is that cool, I promise. (Play my reindeer games).
Most of my favorite articles of clothing are from my mom’s archives.
My parents thought I was going to be an architect because I used to draw floor plans as a child.
I’m tone deaf and wish nothing more than to be able to carry a tune.
I hate violence. It scares the living daylights out of me. So don’t bother inviting me to a boxing match, hockey game, or violent movie. I won’t go.
I’m a complete and utter hopeless romantic and believe in fairytale endings.
I say my prayers at night and take my vitamins in the morning.
I have an amazing family and some of the best (not to mention beautiful) friends in the world and not one day goes by that I take them for granted. I’m a lucky girl.
I share my birthday with one of my best friends and at times believe we may have been separated at birth. (Happy Birthday, PinkyToe!)
I am disgusted this week….Absolutely disgusted!! The lengths some people will go to in order to be famous are outta this world! I have decided to write a letter to one of these people to let them know of my disappointment with their behavior. It really is a shame and truly depressing that this poor girl is sooooo DESPERATE for attention and fame that she would do this.
Dear Heidi Montag,
I want to start by saying I am sooo sorry for you. I feel deep down in my soul that you are just a sad girl who obviously didn’t get enough love or attention at some point in your life that you feel compelled to behave the way you do. What you have done to your body is disheartening and the message it sends to young women out there is deplorable. I also think you should know that you went from being a beautiful young woman to looking like a 45 year old washed up tranny! I know this is harsh on your freshly pulled back ears, but I say it out of of kindness for I fear that you will not stop untill you look like Jocelyn Wildenstein. When reading your interview there were a few things that stuck out to me and I want to address them. Your ultimate dream, you say, is to be a pop star. Now, when I read this I wondered if you were smoking any hallucinogenic drugs. You have no talent in this arena. I would think that this would have been made clear after seeing yourself at the Miss Universe Pageant. Musical and dance talent would be requirements for this to be successful. It’s not just about looking the part, my dear girl. You have to walk the walk as well. And your walk is equivalent to a drunk sorority girl who just got gang banged, woke up in her own puke, and has a broken high heel. You also state that your body is just a shell and that God doesn’t care because it’s what is on the inside that counts. Tell me what is on the inside? I do agree that your body is a shell but that shell looks empty. I also know that God would not be happy with the message you are sending to girls out there. I think Emmy Rossum said it all:
“It upsets me to see young women in the spotlight advocating plastic surgery ,” Emmy writes, adding, “Any surgery is extremely dangerous and should not be taken lightly — much less, used as a tool to increase notoriety or popularity.” She continues, “By putting this on magazine covers, we are somehow legitimizing the dangerous lengths to which some will go for fame and ‘beauty.” Rossum concludes, “There are so many real issues in this world that need attention. Let’s try to take a moment to be grateful we are alive.”
In closing, I really want you to consider apologizing to your family for being a LIAR. I can’t believe that you didn’t tell your Mom or Dad what you were doing. Again, what a bad message. You are blessed and lucky to come from a family that cares about you and it is shameful that they had to read about this in People Magazine. I mean, haven’t you put them through enough by marrying that douchebag, Spencer Pratt? Must you continue to hurt them? I mean, heaven forbid something went wrong. It’s not like you went in for a teeth cleaning. You went in for a 10 hour procedure. I would ask what you were thinking but after reading this, it’s CLEAR you don’t think at all. The biggest disappointment in all of this is they couldn’t give you a new brain because really, that’s what you need!
