Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I spent it with the folks in good ol’ Waterloo, Illinois.  Most people’s response when I tell them where my father’s side of the family is from is always, “Oh, Waterloo! That’s that song by Abba”… NO friends, this is not the same Waterloo, far from it. The Waterloo I visited is one that mainly consists of farms, beer and a local Wal-Mart. Basically it’s a “Why Did You Wear That?” field day.

Anyways, on the flight over I had the pleasure of picking up the new ELLE with my lover, Lady Gaga on the cover. I have been waiting for the right time to share my Gaga obsession with you. I think the woman is AMAZING and have been known to get in Facebook arguments with people just to defend her.  Although I have never met her, I KNOW if we met,  we would be instant friends, so I dedicate this post to my future BFF Lady Gaga!

I absolutely loved how Joe Zee styled her. Unfortunately, I don’t have $640 for Vivienne Westwood velvet combat boots right now, so I decided to find some looks that I thought “could” have been part of the shoot.

I found a GREAT new vintage site that had several items that would have fit in perfectly. It’s called ShopNastyGal.

They sell an amazing selection of vintage clothes, accessories, bags- you name it.  They also have a section with new items that still embody the vintage look we all love so much. The models are adorable and the styling is great. Kudos to the owner of  Shop Nasty Gal!

Below are a few looks I “pulled” that I thought would have been a good fit for my girl, Gaga:

Incognito Shades, $48

Majorette Sweetheart Dress, $78

White Fox Tapered Vest, $390

Same Edelman Zoe Boot, $320

Teardrop Sequin Silk Top, $118

Funktional Caged in Dress, $98

Just in case that was not enough Lady G for you, check out the behind the scenes video of the shoot for Elle:

xx,

VintageVixen

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It is that time again. What time you ask? New Years Resolution Time! I did some research and this NYE tradition started in Babylonian times.. Crazy right? I thought this was invented by the first Gym Owners to boost memberships in January. Early Christians believed the first day of the new year should be spent reflecting on past mistakes and resolving to improve oneself in the new year. Well…  I say NOOOO thank you! My advice to everyone this NYE is to just enjoy yourself. Do not be burdened with putting big plans to change your whole life on Jan 1..This is Just NUTS!

Change happens over time and…Change takes time. Rome was not built in a day soo why in gay hell should you give up say..eating, smoking or even…  dare I say…Booze? I know everyone wants to do better things with their life in the new year but to expect change over night…I mean, come on.

Below are some of my reasonable New Year’s Resolutions:

• Do Something Daily that makes me feel good. This can be a number of things  including  buying myself something, getting dressed up for no reason, dinner with my girls or dancing to Lady Gaga in my bedroom .
• No More Dumpster Diving. Lately, I find myself dating these guys that are not worth my time and to be honest are a little trashy. I think a lot of single people do this sometimes to fill the lonely void. I, instead, am gonna work on me and spend some good quality time with myself. No more Dumpster Diving also means leaving the trash where it belongs- in the dumpster! No more calling, texting emailing exes or wasting energy on things that are pointless. I think the key with this resolution is if you threw it out at some point it’s trash and there is no reason to be picking things outta the trash, especially when you can get new things that are shinier and prettier!
• Help someone once a day. This one makes me cringe cause I am sooo self involved (as many of us can be). The thought of helping another person..I mean why in gay hell? I need to help myself! Here is the deal though: helping other people does help me. It reminds me sometimes that there are people less fortunate and I need to be grateful for what I have. Now I am not going as far to say I will be working in a soup kitchen.  I am thinking letting someone know their hair looks a mess or they have spinach in their teeth will suffice for now.  I can always work my way up to the soup kitchen, right?

Now, things like these are reasonable resolutions. It’s not like I am saying by Jan 1 I will have a six pack and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of, cause that isn’t going to happen. I think we should keep the resolutions like a perfect cashmere sweater: easy to wear and soft to the touch.  Besides corsets are soooo out and nobody needs to be constricted or restricted by anything, especially NYE Resolutions. I say ask yourself, “Why in Gay Hell would I put so much pressure on myself?”

xx,

WhyInGayHell

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So, after seeing my highschool boyfriend (with his two children) in the mall last night with my mom and grandma, I got to thinking.  I haven’t had the best go with the menfolk in the last couple of years (and it’s not just because I dump boys who wear True Religions). I’m thinking it might actually be my own fault.  I believe in a little something called “karma.” Heard of it?

I will be the first to admit that I was pretty AWFUL to my HS bf.  My bff, Jen, is probably laughing hysterically somewhere recalling some of my “stunts.”  I didn’t cheat on him or anything (as everyone is fully aware I am the “anti-cheater”), but I was just not nice. The sad part is, he was probably the kindest boy on planet earth. I just really didn’t appreciate it and actually resented him for loving me so much. He taught me a good lesson though- that whole, “the tighter you hold on, the faster it slips through your fingers” thing.  The more he cared, the more I ran.

Anyway, after experiencing a few more “adult” relationships, I realized, I would probably trade in the glitz and excitement for something a little more simple- unconditional love. Ha… guess the joke’s on me, huh, Karma?

Perhaps we all need to be a little more careful in the way we treat each other, cause I’m starting to think that it may eventually catch up with us. I know I’m a raving bitch when it comes to leggings worn as pants and VPL, but on your average Monday, I’m a pretty nice girl.  So what on earth did I do to deserve some of the heinous treatment I’ve experienced? I think we could ask my HS bf. Ever notice how you grow a giant goiter after making fun of someone else’s zit? Or how your thighs seem a little jigglier after scowling at the fat girl with a Big Mac? It’s Karma. And she’s a bitch.  So don’t be a homewrecker, or a cheater, or just plain old mean, cause eventually Karma is going to return the favor.

However, after my last “incident” with my ex, I would assume I’ve done my penance. The jig is up, Karma. I’ve paid my dues. Got the memo. Take your wrath out on someone else and feel free to send Prince Charming my way.

xx,

WhyDid

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Oh, what to get a dog who has everything? As mentioned several times already, I love my dog. He’s the best. It isn’t debatable, he’s the best dog on the planet. Therefore, he is spoiled rotten. He even has his very own closet. Yes, that’s right, I built my pooch a closet for all his doggy duds (mini hangers and all).

So, what’s a girl to gift her canine companion for Christmas? This year, my little guy was the recipient of a new travel bag. I obviously take him everywhere I go, so I need a sturdy and stylish bag.  I’d already gone through two PeTote Genevieve bags, but they both fell apart.  So I got him this little bag:

Kwigy-Bo Alex Carier, $158

I will let you know how this one holds up. Anyway, this is not the whole point behind my entry. So, as I was perusing my dog carrier options, I stumbled upon a truly disturbing invention. When you Google “stylish dog bags” you may fall upon something that looks like this:

Starstruck Purse, $55

OMFG. Is this serious? Sure is. You can now carry your dog, as a purse! I mean, why not? Here are a few more options:

Soiree Black Ribbons Purse, $84.95

Raspberry Hearts Purse, $69.95

Hot Dog Passionate Pink Purse, $63.97

I don’t know why I’m actually providing you with the links to these “purses.” I do NOT condone carrying your dog as a handbag as I’m sure it falls under some type of animal abuse (and it’sjust plain out creepy). Just thought I’d share.

xx,

WhyDid

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Did you know that the average American woman is 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14? I ain’t lyin, sister!  Many of our lovelyWhydid readers are stressing themselves to be a size 2, and I want you to just stop it right now!  Because I’m here with helpful tips to keep you curvaceous cuties looking great year round.  And to all of my vivacious, voluptuous, vixens, who aren’t necessarily a size “shrimp”, this one’s for you!

1. Buy the right FIT not the right SIZE: From my years of assisting at the Diane Von Furstenburg sample sale, I’ve seen too many ladies buy an 8 because that’s “their size”, but they end up looking like a sausage stuffed in casings and should actually be wearing a 12. The number on the label is really there as a point of reference. Use it as a guideline, and bring “your size”, a size up and a size down into the fitting room.
2. Undergarments are ESSENTIAL: Make sure that your bras and undies are the correct size and right fit for your frame.  Because no matter how great your dress may be, if we see bunching panties or a bulging bra, the effect is ruined. Now I know we’ve all heard about Spanx (which I adore) but Intimacy, Livi Rae, and Maidenform are also brands that specialize in flattering a fuller figure. Yes, yes, replacing your ill-fit unmentionables may cost you a bit, but a professional bra fitting is scott-free, and trust me, the end result will be priceless.
3. Play up your assets: If you’ve got big, beautiful chi chi’s, show ‘em off!  A Deep V-neck Tee will do the trick, or perhaps a scooped neck blouse will give “the girls” the undivided attention they deserve.  If you love your legs and have killer calves, then give ‘em some breathing room!  A skirt that hits above the knee will give your legs length and make you appear taller.  Instead of focusing on “what to hide”, think in the positive and make an effort to draw attention to your prettiest parts.
4. When in doubt, wear heels: I know, I know, they’re a pain in the neck (literally) but high heel shoes and boots can really take you from a 2 to a 10. They elongate the leg, force you to straighten up your posture, and make the boys go wild. Pair them with an Empire Waist or an A-Line dress, and you’re ready to paint the town red!
5. Last, but certainly not least, SMILE!: I’ve seen many a “gorgeous girl” be completely ignored in social settings, because the puss on her face looks like she smells poo. No way, Jose!  Turn that frown upside down and smile, laugh, and make conversation with the people nearby. When you smile, you’ll naturally radiate confidence, which like moths to a flame, will draw eyes on you, Ms. Thang.  Believe me when I say, a pretty smile will get your further than any designer duds ever will.

xx,

PinkyToe

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