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Somethin’ for the Fellas: No Chinos in the Champagne Room

By Kirsten|September 29th, 2009|Somethin for the fellas, Why Did You Wear That?|

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After strolling into one of my favorite go to neighborhood spots with my newly single and gorgeous friend last week, it became clear that the “crowd” had changed. Gone were the typical older Europeans, men with strange mustaches, and cute 30 somethings. Instead, there were tables of middle aged men in khakis. We get it, you corporate guys like trendy places with pretty girls. And we are happy to smile and thank you for the drinks you sent over. However, do us a favor, try not to look so corporate. Below are a few style tips for you fellas from my lady friends:

Please do not wear pleated front khakis (chinos). Ever. You should not own any pants that have a Docker’s label. And IF you INSIST on wearing them, or someone has mysteriously stolen all of your other pants, do NOT pair your chinos with a blue button down. Blockbuster anyone?

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Do not attach your cell phone to the outside of your pants in one of those awful “holsters.” That’s what pockets are for.

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While you’re at it, remove the blue tooth from your ear. Who are you? Spock?

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Carrying a backpack is also unacceptable. We are no longer in 5th grade. Take a note from those Euros and get a nice man purse.

NO:

YES:

Shoes matter. A woman can size you up in less than thirty seconds merely by glancing at your feet. Sad, but true. I’m not saying you have to have the new Gucci loafers, but I am saying those clunky lace ups have GOT to go.

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Don’t be douchey. So many times I have seen men be nasty to pretty girls because they feel intimidated. Just be kind and don’t take it personally if she tells you she “has a boyfriend.” Being nice and funny can go a long way (even if you’re wearing chinos).

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Know Your Role

By Kirsten|September 25th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|

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I have really beautiful friends. Always have. And they are legitimately beautiful- not just because they are my friends and I love them and they’re “beautiful on the inside” (which they also happen to be). They are grade “A” stunners.

For instance, one of my friends has the most ridiculously amazingly long perfect legs. I wish I had a pair of my own. Another one has Rapunzel perfectly naturally blond hair and universally attractive facial features. Another one with an ass you could rest your drink on and rock hard abs. One who never has a bad hair day and has perfect skin (I doubt she even owns zit cream). The list goes on. Walking into a room with this group, the record stops and conversation comes to a halt. The best part is, they hardly notice.

Though it’s always good to roll with a group of beautiful girls, at times, you may feel like the ugly duckling. Fear not, pretty girl, you have your place in the crowd. Rather than get jealous, as many girls do, or resent your friends for their natural beauty, figure out your own special features. If you can’t compete with your friend with the gams, but you have some ample bosom, play that up. If you have beautiful shoulders and toned arms, show those off. Chances are, your girlfriends covet one or more of your God given assets. And thank your friend with the booty for the free round of drinks that were just sent over.

xx,

WhyDid

Bored Sick

By Kirsten|September 23rd, 2009|Uncategorized|

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I would have written about the Emmy’s Red Carpet, but it was so boring and underwhelming that I decided to get the flu instead. So for the last three days, I’ve been sick in bed and well, other than losing a couple of vanity pounds, there’s nothing cute about that. Needless to say, I’m back up and running now and have had plenty of time to plot my next victims. Stay tuned.

xx,

WhyDid

WhyDid Wisdom: Dogs and D-Cups

By Kirsten|September 19th, 2009|WhyDid Wisdom|

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So, I am a firm believer that men should be men and women should be women. And I do believe that part of that is men spoiling women. However, there a couple of things that women should be completely independent on.

Girls love gifts and those gifts can range from lingerie to diamonds to those shoes you’ve been lusting over. Sometimes a guy may suggest a puppy. Maybe he suggests he will buy you some breast enhancements. Take the jewelry. Accept the shoes. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT accept the puppy or the boob job.

Both are great things to have, however, they are the type of purchases a woman should make on her own. Heaven forbid, you and the bf break up. If he bought you the dog, he’s going to think he has some sort of right to the dog. If he doesn’t straight out take the dog back, he will always use it as a string for communication. To keep your dog happy during such times you can go on https://dope.dog/ to get CBD treats.

As for the boobs, you should probably think about what kind of boyfriend you have if he’s suggesting a boob job in the first place. Also, you never want a guy throwing that back in your face. He will always be able to say he owns a part of your body… and well, that’s just creepy.

So, in this case, max out the credit card. Buy your own dog. Buy your own boobs. Both are incredibly wise investments. You’ll get a good return on both.

xx,

WhyDid

2009 VMA’s (aka View. My. Ass.)

By Kirsten|September 14th, 2009|Red Carpet Recap, Why Did You Wear That?|

It seems that this year people actually tuned into the MTV VMA’s. Perhaps it was the tribute to Michael Jackson, or maybe that it was back in good old NYC, either way the show did not disappoint. Twitter was abuzz last night with updates on all the drama and performances.

Clearly, the theme for last night was a lot of gratuitous ass. I would have come up with an “A” word for vagina, but could not think of one. The bar was set high when Katy Perry performed wearing WHITE shiny leggings and a serious case of cameltoe.

And just in case you didn’t notice her lady parts, she finished off her performance with a “crotch grab.” Classy. Love Katy, but no woman should attempt the white spandex pants. Ever.

Speaking of ass, Kanye West sure acted like one when he ruined Taylor Swift’s moment to shine. Really, Kanye? Get a life. Picking on a cute girl like Taylor is just LAME.

Oh, Lady Gaga. I wouldn’t expect anything less from her. She’s notorious for her lack of clothing and her affinity for all things leotard. While she normally has security who blocks paparazzi from taking photos of her derriere, we got a full view last night as she swung covered in “blood” from the ceiling. If Lady Gaga could buy stock in “inappropriateness”, she would.

It’s clear to all of us why Jay-Z went ahead and put a ring on that. I have to give the girl props for sporting this little number, however, that’s a lot of crotch. A couple of things: 1) I want the number to her waxer. It’s safe to bet that Beyonce took a trip to Brazil before her performance, 2) the trick to Beyonce’s svelte thighs? Double (or even triple) layers of tights. A shiny shaping pair layered beneath nude fishnets will erase and trace of cellulite or extra lbs.

We all know pink is a bad ass, but attempting this little stunt in a unitard with a huge contraption in her crotch giving her the world’s largest cameltoe… Ouch.

I wanted to also include a photo of Russell Brand in that ridiculous suit of his because he is a total ass and we also saw too much of his crotch as well. I’m confused as to why MTV signed him on for a second year of hosting. Do people actually like him? And for the record, women aren’t the only ones who need to be conscious of their thighs in skinny pants. Men with thick thighs can not, I repeat, can not pull off skinny pants.

But alas, there was a happy ending after all.

Beyonce saved some ass (ahem, Kanye) after she graciously gave up her time for an acceptance speech for Video of the Year in order to allow Taylor Swift to complete her acceptance speech that had been cut short due to douchebaggery.