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Guest Post: I Swear this is Real… You’re Welcome.

By |May 26th, 2009|Guest Blogger|
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A dear friend of mine, “Pinky Toe”, sent me some pictures after she left the East Coast for the Left Coast. The subject line of the email was “you’re welcome.”  Pinky sends me lots of amazing things- she’s my bestie, after all, so I wasn’t really sure what I was in store for.  I was so beyond horrified by them…that I needed to know two things: 1) where the hell did she find these people?, 2) Why oh WHY was she around such specimens?

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I would have written the commentary myself, but her response was so beyond brilliant, that I figured I couldn’t have possibly worded it better myself:

“the first two atrocities were spotted at an Academy Awards After-Party at the Beverly Hills hotel… a classy venue that you may recognize from the film “troop Beverly hills”.  These women were executing one of my favorite combinations to photograph; Arrogance, coupled with ignorance.  They both pranced, and posed and were so confident in their offensive outfits, that i had no choice but to help them make fools of themselves.
The last girl is a poor unfortunate soul that i came across at an east side dive bar called “little joy”.  The kind of place where you’d like to wipe the rim before enjoying your drink… so please tell me why she’s rocking the worlds most offensive… muu-muu.  If you have a boxy frame, low boobs and a flat ass, God help me to understand why you wear a shapeless dress like this.  the Jill Zarin Haircut and Gold Steve madden sandals dont help either.  The poor thing told me who made the dress (i want to say Catherine Malandrino or some other big name European designer) but i was so blinded by the ugly, that my ears regurgitated the information.xo”

I’m sure after reading her explanation, you can’t help but understand why I consider her one of my very best friends. Not just anyone can convince women to give them front and back “head to toes” and then write such witty and poignant follow up.

xx,

WhyDid

Not Suitable.

By |May 22nd, 2009|Somethin for the fellas|
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I would say 95% of women are suckers for men in suits.  That’s why after reading an article in the NY Times, I was crushed. Basically, it says that the days of men looking dapper (and delicious) in well tailored suits are over.  We kind of knew this was happening after the whole “dot com” era when men took to wearing outfits that looked like Blockbuster Video uniforms (khakis and blue button down ring a bell?).  I’m not sure who told them that was a good idea, but it wasn’t. Not sexy.  It is frumpy. It’s the male equivalent to women wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt. Get my drift?

You see, men were able to get away with the Blockbuster uniform when companies were desperate for the talent. You could basically bring your dog to work and drink a beer as long as you were there. Now we are in a completely different place.  People need to start dressing and acting like they are grateful to still be employed (which I have said before).  The NY Times article points out that, surprisingly, men are the people who are still shopping in this tough economy.  I’m afraid they aren’t shopping for the right items, however. If you look at the slideshow of suggested outfits for the “new suit” you will see that these are completely ridiculous alternatives to the suit. Not only are they inappropriate for the workplace, they aren’t really “suited” (pun not initially intended- but let’s go with it) for a straight man. I just don’t think a heterosexual man could pull these looks off. Leave them to the fabulous and already stylish men of Chelsea.

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I was relieved to see this young man on the train shortly after reading this article.   I know it’s not the clearest photo (via my Blackberry), but he was wearing a well fitted grey pinstripe suit, white collared shirt, skinny grey and pink tie, and the cherry on top- Ray Ban Wayfarers.  See, you can still be young and cool in a suit.

Bottom line- forget what you heard.  The suit still rules. I mean, if nothing else, chicks still dig a man in a suit. The economy may blow, but that doesn’t mean your love life should.

xx,

WhyDid

Why Did You Wear That: I’m in Love with a Stripper… Shoe.

By |May 20th, 2009|Look for Less, Why Did You Wear That?|
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I stumbled upon these sexy summer sandals the other day and they got me to thinking…

pg_156265683_thMiu Miu Platform T-strap Sandal, $635

Um, there’s a reason guys love strip clubs.  Okay, yes, they can drink and watch naked girls shake what their mama’s gave them (or daddy’s bought them) and not be nagged about what they left on the floor, but these “ladies” have mastered the art of exuding sex. They know what they are doing with those ridiculously high heels.  Guys love legs. They always have. It’s human nature. Super duper high (supa dupa fly- sorry, Missy Elliot is currently playing) heels can make even the stubbiest little legs look longer and more appealing.

Maybe we could take a little note from these lap dancing ladies. I mean, how many of you have already taken a pole dancing “exercise” class?  So if you’d rather your man steer clear of Scores and hang with you, then you’d better give him a good reason. A girlfriend once asked me for some fashion advice when she knew she was going to see her very recent ex at a birthday party. I simply told her to look as close to a stripper without actually looking like a stripper. It is a very fine line that you do NOT want to cross, but when done correctly, is incredibly effective (kind of like the “bend and snap”- Legally Blonde, duh).

41oljmuisxl_sl217_Bebe Evelyn Snake Ankle Strap Sandal, $159

While those Miu Miu’s are heaven on heels, I’m not bank rolling right now and these platforms from Bebe are a close replacement. Ironic that “Candy” from Sapphire’s is probably in more of a financial position to purchase expensive heels. Sigh…

xx,

WhyDid

Beauty Buzz: The Art of Beauty

By |May 13th, 2009|Beauty Buzz|
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This morning I was lucky enough to be asked to volunteer my face for a makeup class that Linda Mason was teaching at her workshop in Soho. I remembered that many, many moons ago, Ms. Mason was the makeup artist for a runway show that I was in.  That particular show was a bit “abstract” (read- I had plants in my hair and a yellow triangle on my eye), so I wasn’t exactly sure what I had gotten myself into, but was very pleasantly surprised.

Today, the students were learning about “bridal makeup.”   Linda wanted me to tell them what kind of bride I would like to be. Ha! This has got to be a sick joke.  I have no idea what type of bride I would like to be. So, I guess that made me the “indecisive bride.”  Anyway, Linda did a demonstration for the students on my face where she played with different styles. My right eye was a soft, romantic bride while the left was more glamourous and sexy. She filled in my lips with pink and then red. She added shadow and tweaked liner. She was able to create several different looks with just little changes to my makeup. Each one was more stunning than the next. This woman is clearly a genius, I decided.

The students then took a break and my face was cleaned off. When they got back, the students got a chance to recreate the looks. A young lady taking her first makeup course was in charge of my next look. I was not facing a mirror, so I had no idea what she was doing. I snuck a glance or two and saw that she was using shades of blue and coral, and I’m not going to lie, I got a little bit nervous. I figured I was about to be “80’s bride.”  However, when she was finished, I was amazed. She did a wonderful job and I left Linda’s workshop looking like a supermodel.

Chatting with Linda, you would never realize that she has quite the resume. She’s charming and sweet, but don’t be fooled.  She’s painted the faces of models, actresses, and celebrities (Charlize Theron, Naomi Campbell, Joan Jett, Sarah Ferguson to name a few).

If you are a bride who knows what kind of bride she’d like to be, you are an aspiring makeup artist, or you just love makeup, you need to get down to The Art of Beauty.  I know that when(if) the big day comes for me, I will most definitely entrust my face to Linda Mason.

The Art of Beauty -Linda Mason

26 Grand Street

212-625-0490

www.lindamason.com

Beauty Buzz: Do the Wave

By |May 11th, 2009|Beauty Buzz|
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Oh it’s about that time of year again. You know, the warm weather we have been wishing for but then curse it when it gets here. “It’s too hot.” “This humidity is killing me!” You know what I’m talking about.

On a positive note, it’s time to bust out the sundresses, strappy sandals, and shades.  While you overhaul your closet, tucking your sweaters away and positioning your short shorts front and center, it’s also time to tuck your flat iron away. Stick straight hair for the summer is just too fussy, not to mention that it is a completely futile effort.

It’s time for sexy, wild wavy beach hair. How do you get this Gisele hair without looking like Amy Winehouse you ask? A few simple tricks will get you on your way to looking like a mermaid who just found her legs and crawled out of the ocean to meet her Prince Eric.

After you wash your hair, apply a salt spray/wave spray to damp hair. There are several different options out there. I like Bumble and Bumble South Surf Spray andFrederic Fekkai Marine Summer Hair Beach Waves. Then wrap hair in a loose bun and pin in place.  Allow your hair to dry in and unpin when hair is mostly dry.  This will create loose waves.  Touch up any wonky strands with a large curling iron. Make sure to leave the ends out because you don’t want it to look like pageant hair. Mist with hair spray and tousle with your fingers. Voila! You are a sexy sea maiden.

Some will suggest creating this entire look with a curling iron, but I don’t believe it stays as well and it is also causing unnecessary damage to your hair (not what it needs during the humid summer months).  If you have super straight or fine hair that just will not curl, I suggest using a wave iron like this one.  I warn you though, use it sparingly in order to avoid looking like a crimped poodle. Not even close to hot.

xx,

WhyDid

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